Bezi - Week 4 - "Pull up your socks"

June 9, 2015

All is well :) of course.

Once again I don't even know where to start... first of all some people asked if we're allowed to wewar sunglasses or not because I was wearing some in my last email. Well, I read the white handbook and I don't see anywhere that it says we can't wear sunglasses. My guess is that Heavenly Father would want me to protect my eyes even on my mission :) But just in case I called Sister Schwab and asked if it was allowed and she told me I could, so there we have it :)

This week we did a lot of contacting again. We've been getting up early in the mornings and just hitting the streets for 2 hours. Samara is such a good place and the people on the streets are much sweeter but I do admit that I miss Saratov a little bit at times! I was there for a whole year and my heart is still wanting to go back somedays. Those members are my best friends. But I am working really hard on building relationships with people here as well. It's so awesome praying for people and trying to love people and really seeing a noticeable difference in a person when you are sincerely striving to build friendships instead of members thinking that we are just people who need their help for a month or two and then the relationship is cut off as soon as we leave. I really want to somehow have an impact on these people and their lives while I am still here. 

L, the girl that I met the first week that I was in this area, has fallen off the face of the earth (she even had a baptism date and had heard the first three lessons!) And since then we have met a lot of wonderful people and so so many people who seem like they are so ready for the gospel... but they end up being a one time thing or they end up being totally not interested. Yesterday I was especially upset by this when we called a girl that we'd met yesterday who had told us that she has wanted a Book of Mormon for so long and was so excited when we gave her one, and then today we called her and she had blocked our number. Then we called another man we'd met on the street who was just begging us to help him to stop smoking and he had given us the wrong number. That pretty much brought me to my ends wits.... 

I have never prayed more fervently in my life for Heavenly Father to please please pleeease bless us with miracles and with people to share this amazing message with. As a mission we have a goal to baptism one person every cycle... yesterday I just felt my hope starting to run dry when I realized that we only have 2 weeks left in the cycle. I went into the bathroom and got on my knees and just prayed and told Heavenly Father exactly what I was feeling and honestly I was just having a "Oh God where art thou?" moment. 

Actually after my prayer I just picked up the phone and called the APs. I explained that usually I call President about most of my problems but I really wanted to talk to some of my comrades who know what its like to hit the streets hour after hour after hour. I didn't expect to get emotional at all but I totally started crying. It just breaks your heart to invest your entire soul into helping these people and praying your heart out for these things and seeing nothing. I really was having a heart break moment. I was so grateful for them though, they really gave me all the words that I needed to hear and honestly all that I needed to hear was a little, "wipe away your tears, pull up your socks, and keep going." They were actually a lot nicer than that, but pretty much they said to keep pushing forward and rely on God and don't lose hope. 

I really don't understand God's plans. I have no idea whether or not we will get a baptism this cycle. But God knows all things and I will keep praying for a baptism and for these people until the end of this cycle :) 

Love, Sister Wilson 

Faith also includes trust in God’s timing, for He has said,

 “All things must come to pass in their time.” (D&C 64:32.)

We are to work steadily, but realistically, 

and only expect to reap "in due season." (Gal. 6:9)

A reassuring promise is given us in this journey:

 “And any man that shall go and preach this gospel of the kingdom, 

and fail not to continue faithful in all things, shall not be weary in mind, neither darkened.” (D&C 84:80.)

Neil A. Maxwell - “LEST YE BE WEARIED AND FAINT IN YOUR MINDS”

Saratov Week 9 - "Balakovo, city of miracles!!"

March 9, 2015

All is well,

Oh man. I am still in shock about how much can happen on a mission in just one week. Or a day, or even a few hours. I sometimes feel that I will do more on a mission that I will ever do in my entire life. 

SO, we went to Balakovo on exchanges this week, my birth place :') And WOW was that refreshing. I just fell back in love with everyone there. Not only the members, but literally that people on the streets! I am sorry but I have to say it, people are just straight up nicer in Balakovo. It's so easy to give out Books of Mormon there. However, Saratov is waiting for a stake, so of course there going to be more persecution there. ANYYYWAY. I will just relate some of the things that happened in Balakovo. 

First of all, Sv... (someone our companionship baptized) was in Moscow, so I didn't get to see her but I talked to her over the phone and she is doing great :) still going strong and reading her scriptures every day! Then we did get to meet with S, the 15 year old girl who was baptized is doing so so good. She just gets it. I wouldn't be surprised if she goes on a mission someday. And then we also met with N, who is handicapped and just about died when she opened the door and saw me. I have never seen anything cuter in my life. She was just jumping up and down and hugging me and then would look at my face and then hug me again. But the best meeting that we had by far was with a less active member named "E".

Sister Martinez said that "E" texted the sisters one night and said, "I need help. I have a drinking problem and I have been avoiding meeting with you because I thought you'd be disapointed." The sisters haven't been able to meet with her since I've been gone and we finally got a meeting set up for when I came. We didn't know whether or not we should bring a member with us because we were afraid that she might not open up, but president Schwab said that it is always better to have a member than have none at all. So we invited the new branch president, Zhenya. I was just praying the whole time that we could touch her heart. That we could somehow been instruments by which she could feel her Heavenly Father's love and have a desire to come back to him. The lesson was focused on Christ and we read and studied about why we need an atonement. We asked her if she still prays and said said no. That just broke my heart. I then told her how much her Heavenly Father loves and adore her, how precious she is to him and how precious their relationship is to him. And that was did it for her, she just began to sob. Zhenya then offered her a blessing, and I nodded encouragingly toward her. As he blessed her, tears just streamed down her face. One thing that really stood out to me during that blessing were the words, "God wants to speak to you." The spirit was so strong there. We invited her to start praying again, AT LEAST once a day. As we got up to leave I hugged her and reminded her, "don't forget who you are, and don't forget that God wants to talk to you." The tears began to stream again and she told me she loved me and thanked us for coming. That was one of the most powerful lessons I have had on my mission. I know it was so sacred to my Heavenly Father. 

Nothing breaks my heart more than knowing that people have stopped praying. Prayer is the most important source of relationship building with God, and Satan understands that quite well. Don't let him convince you that prayer is important, and when you have that thought say, "WHOOOA Hey there Satan! You really just gave yourself away by giving me that thought because anything that tells me not to pray is from the devil!" NEVER STOP PRAYING. I literally don't know how I could even survive ONE DAY here in Russia without prayer. 

I myself am doing okay. I have been thinking that something is wrong with me lately because I've been so down in the dumps and I just feel like a drag, and I don't know why?! I am praying praying praying to be lifted up and to rely on Christ, because I literally have NO reason to complain or be sad. We have investigators. We have seen baptisms. I was just wondering what on earth is wrong with me as we were walking out of the church building yesterday and I was suddenly BLINDED by the sun. I was instantly just filled with JOY! I MISS THE SUN SO MUCH. Seriously I think I am lacking in vitamin d or something. Goodness. Thank goodness winter is almost over. Pray for the sun to keep coming out :) and this might be the most missionary thing I'll ever say, but it really just reminded me of the Savior. A life without sun is like a life without the Savior. 

Yesterday was my halfway mark on my mission and it was also national womans day which is a HUGE holiday in Russia. My companion and I got roses and soap and candy from people at church :) Also a really old babooshka approached me at church yesterday and commended me for wearing my hair in a braid and not letting my hair down like all the other wild girls these days. Russian grandmothers are great :) 

Such a miraculous week. Truly. And a mission really is the best decision I have ever made. It is the hardest thing I've ever done but every aspect of it really is worth it. 

Love, 

Sister Wilson 

Sister Wilson refers to the importance of the sun and it's affect on her mood, and she likened that light to our Savior, Jesus Christ. Elder David A. Bednar, an apostle in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, teaches more about Light HERE

Saratov Week 7 - "I am right where I am supposed to be!"

February 24, 2015 

All is well,

Where do I even start? 

At English group this week I was with Sister Palmer and Sister Chase because I was waiting for sister Coleman to come down to Saratov. At english group I was sitting next to a boy on the very end of the row, R, who knew very little English and asked me to translate much of the time. We were explaining the apostasy and ending up playing telephone to show how things get completely skewed up when truth doesn't come directly from the source of truth. Because I was second to last I had a thought to just change the entire sentence completely... but instead of making up a new sentence I just whispered a bunch of gibberish into R's ear something that didn't make sense in English or in Russian that sounded something like, "selkfjlke sdoi aspoie wex ielk" which he was totally cheating so he wrote it down on paper and then when it was time for him to say it he read it out loud and it made NO sense. I don't think I've laughed so hard in sooo long. Everyone in the room was laughing with us as he continued to say the sentence with his Russian accent which just made it twice as funny. He was a real good sport about it too :) Maybe this isn't even funny... but it was, you had to be there ;) 

At 12:00 that night we went to the train station and picked up my new companion. Oh man. I am with the lovely Sister Coleman :) She has one of the most outstanding personalities that I have ever beheld. She is just a very thoughtful person and so honest and open with me about things. I can't wait to see the miracles that will happen in Solnechney thanks to having such a strong companion here, and she is just ready to WORK. She really understands a few things quite well. And that number one... We are here to baptized people. We do not need to be meeting with people who are just willing to meet with us to talk about religion. Our purpose as missionaries is to do what? Help people to receive the restored gospel, which includes BAPTISM. We should not be meeting with ANYONE just because they are willing to meet. If we give up those people who are willing to meet with us then Heavenly Father will help us to find those who are ready and willing to act on the message. So, we have been clearing out our area a tad and been putting some people away and are going to get out and do some more finding, which will be AMAZING because contacting with Sister Coleman is the best thing ever.

This weekend we will be having a baptism :) F is getting baptized and she is so ready. She will probably be a relief society president someday, I will be honest. She is so giving. Wow if I could describe that woman I would say honest and charitable. And I can honestly say that Sister Coleman and I really haven't done anything to deserve this baptism. Heavenly Father is just very generous and gives because he loves us. 

My prayers are going to be a lot more personal with Heavenly Father... I think I am just realizing how personal my relationship with him is and how personal it is with each individual being here on this earth. Knowing that I talked face to face with God just as Moses did before this life helps me to trust him so much more, it helps me to trust that he also is preparing each one of his children to return to him by stacking up special experiences, and when the time comes each one of them will be ready to accept his plan. 

If anyone is thinking about going on a mission... I would recommend a yes :) It's the best decision I've ever made. I will never regret serving a mission. I would not rather be any where else in the world. 

Love, Sister Wilson 

PS I know that I am in the highest incident mission in the entire mission field, but I have never felt more safe in my life. Especially as sisters. I've rarely felt that I am in danger. 

Saratov Week 6 - "Cast your burdens on the Lord"

February 16, 2015

All is Well,

Sister Busman and I had a wonderful last week together :) She is really such a sweet sister. She is so mindful of others and I could honestly go on and on about that Swedish sister. I learned so many things from her and I felt honored to be her last companion. I was so nervous for transfer calls, I knew that I would be staying in Solnechney, but with my companion going home I would be getting a new companion, but mom, guess who I am with, SISTER COLEMAN. I almost jumped out of my seat when Sister Schwab called. I have to confess that in my last letter that I wrote to president I almost said, "Hey... if you want any ideas for transfers, I wouldn't mind serving with Sister Coleman." I am sooo excited. I have only heard the very best things about her, but she is probably the one sister that I have never actually met. And knowing that she was ending her mission soon I was feeling so bummed that I might never get to meet her. But guess what? Heavenly Father knows my heart so well. This cycle is going to be amaaaazing. Something funny is that sister Coleman's little brother was my "EFY crush" I have to admit that I'm a lot more eager to be friends with her now though hahaha. I can already tell that I'm about to serve with a lifelong friend :) Ahh... dreams come true.

Right now I am in an internet cafe with Sister Johnson and Sister McKell. For some reason I won't be with Sister Coleman until Thursday. Also Sister Martinez was made sister training leader, I totally saw that coming. She is such a star. I love that sister so much. Also I think that means that I will be doing splits with her, meaning that if she feels inspired... I can come back up to Balakovo for splits. Ohhhh this transfer is going to be so much fun. I so hope that I can go back to Balakovo and see my beloved birthplace.

 The mother of a new convert has been coming to church. Yesterday during sunday school she said, "people always talk about not being afraid to share the gospel with people and getting the courage to share it with people... but I feel the exact opposite. When I am here at church I feel that I want to share it with everyone!" Her name is F and she is AMAZING. She gathers her whole family around us when we come over. We set a baptismal date for her on the 28th of Februrary :) 

 

My testimony is strengthened with every week that I serve my mission, but one day this week I experienced something a little more profound, a little more sweet. I woke up and thought about the things ahead of me for the day... and I noticed something, or maybe it was that I noticed a LACK of something. I felt no hope for the day. My heart just felt so weighed down and I felt an ache or a thirst for something, a hole that needed to be filled. I feel that I am doing the things that should be drawing me closer to God, reading scriptures, praying, testifying, but I still feel far from him. Feeling more and more weighed down and hopeless as the morning went on I locked myself in the bathroom and got down on my knees and asked for help, for comfort, for more love in the work. Feeling frustrated I began to cry. I felt the need for something, or someone, and I just confessed that I really cannot do this alone, I asked that my burdens would be made light through Christ's atonement. As soon as I thought the words, I felt an immense relief. My tears immediately stopped. And I thought to myself, "Hey, I still want to cry. I need to let these feelings out!" But I couldn't. My body didn't need to cry any more, the sorrow was gone. It was as if my well of tears had been completely dried up. I felt a reassuring feeling from my Heavenly Father that my mission has been acceptable to him, and that he wants me to press forward... but with the knowledge that I don't need to do it on my own. 

I felt that he was saying to me, "Sister Wilson, you are doing wonderful, but if I could give you one point of advice... I would ask that you rely more on the redeeming and relieving power of the Savior. Why are you trying to do this on your own?" And he's right.

Why am I trying to do this on my own? It's sooo so much easier just doing all the good that we can do and then leaning on the Savior for all that we can't. My testimony of the redeeming power of the atonement was strengthened, also the fact that God does answer our prayers. And sometimes he answers them in months... and sometimes he answers them immediately. 

 

Have a wonderful week everyone :) Missions are miracles.

Love, Sister Brooklyn Wilson 

Samara - Week 11 - "Transfers"

October 6, 2014

All is well,

So my companion and I just got a call a few minutes ago from Sister Schwab, she had all the news for transfers a week early. I am staying in Balakovo, I will be serving with Sister Martinez (I've heard AMAZING things about her, Sis Busman trained her) and Sister Haroldsen will be serving with my old companion, Sister Palmer, in Saratov. She is going to love Sister Palmer :) I always told her that. I am glad not to be leaving this blessed area, but I'm scared to be the missionary left here beceause I still have such a nasty language barrier with this members!

We actually saw a couple miracles yesterday. First of all... we went to follow up with a member who had a referral for us. We met with her a week ago and had her write down 5 names of the people she loves most in her life, and to pray about 2 people on that list that she wants to share the gospel with. Well yesterday we met with her and she said that she hadn't received an answer yet and that she didn't think any of them were ready. She seemed to be a little bit bummed down about it, but as my companion and I spoke to her about how God can soften people's hearts as we pray for them, her own heart began to change! By the end of the lesson she told us, "How about on Friday I invite my cousin to my house and you two sisters come over to meet her in the evening?" She set up a lesson with us right before our eyes. God changes hearts and he gives people courage when it comes to doing his work. I have noticed it in myself and others as I share the good news :)

Also... there is an elder in this mission who is an EXACT COPY of Drew Hutchins. His name is Elder Serino, and they need to be friends when they get home.

We made a goal to hit 6 baptisms by the end of his cycle. We actually had a baptism this weekend with N :) She is handicapped with the understanding of an 8 year old, but that's enough to be baptized! Elder Wall baptized her and was so good with her... basically we went to a sauna for the baptism, and she was baptized in a pool. But the pool was SO DEEP, so Elder Wall had to hold her. Imagine an extremely awkward situation, and then put a really Christ-like person into the situation and suddenly it's not awkward anymore. Basically that's Elder Wall. He was so good with her. After she was baptized and dressed again she was talking with my companion and I and our branch president about how "not tasty" the water was, and that it is "not mean to be drinken." we were all trying so hard not to laugh. The best part though was the next day at church when she recieved the Holy Ghost, wow the spirit filled the building. Those blessings are so special. I am going to invite anyone who has the opportunity to go to a baptism to take it :) I love baptisms. So now we need 5 more baptisms because N was baptized, you don't need to fast for it or anything, but it means a lot to me so please just pray that we can get these 5 baptisms. We are expecting BIG miracles in this mission. Our mission president told us that Russia is the new Brazil, and that it's not going to be tomorrow or next year, but the time is NOW. And I believe him.

In closing I just wanted to share a scripture with you all :) It is 2 Ne 32:8, The spirit teacheth a man to pray, but an evil spirit teacheth a man NOT to pray. I paraphrased that for sure.

8: And now, my beloved brethren, I perceive that ye ponder still in your hearts; and it grieveth me that I must speak concerning this thing. For if ye would hearken unto the Spirit which teacheth a man to pray, ye would know that ye must pray; for the evil spiritteacheth not a man to pray, but teacheth him that he must not pray.

But I could not believe how PERFECT that lesson was, let me tell you why. We have an investigator who hasn't come to church in a long time, and won't speak to us on a spiritual subject anymore, and is tired of praying because he's not getting any "feedback" (however he only prayed for 3 days in a row), but he still comes to all activities. He came to the baptism and to church just to see what it's like to see a baptism and confirmation, but decided to stay for sunday school too... basically the Sunday school teacher was extremely inspired. Because he didn't even know that our investigator would be there. However it applied to me as well, because sometimes we are out on the streets and I think, "we are having no success right now... we should pray." and then the natural man in me says that I don't need to pray! I am too prideful to tell it to my companion. How awful is that? Guess who it's from, SATAN. That nasty devil. Our investigator asked the question, "well isn't it better not to pray at all than to have an insincere prayer?" and our Sunday school teacher said, "anything that teaches NOT to pray, is from the devil." Simple as that. 

When you feel like you gotta pray, 

get down on your knees and pray :) swallow your pride! 

(Can someone figure out how to say that in Russian for me? 

I've wanted to say it like 10 times at least)

Love you all :)

Sister Wilson 

Samara - Week Nine - "How to Study the Scriptures"

September 22, 2014

All is well,

I love Balakovo so much. Because this branch is so small, we really get to know the members rather well. There's still a language wall but they seem to love me anyway. Can I just say that I have probably turned into the most awkward person ever since I've come to Russia? It's not that hard asking questions to get to know them, but understanding what they say back is the sad part and the awkward part, because they just go on and on, and I am sitting there like, I lost the topic of this conversation 5 minutes ago... The best is when we have conversations on the street and people will be talking to me and I will catch bits and pieces, but then they'll turn to my companion and say, "she has no idea what I'm saying huh?" I'm pretty sure the big dumb smile on my face gives it away when they're talking about how their son broke their leg or how they had an awful childhood. My branch mission leader speaks English and then there is a less active in my ward that I have met ONCE but speaks perfect english, it's really nice to have an english conversation sometimes and remember that I actually know how to carry on a normal sincere conversation :)

Some interesting things for the week, we went to a less active's house that we have been HOPING to work with. We approached their door and once again heard yelling.. like the last time we came. This member's name is T. and LOVES the missionaries, but hates the members because she was offended by them. We rang the door bell twice and then the arguing stopped. Out the door comes T's daughter who hasn't been to church in FOREVER, like 10 years, but somehow remembers SO much about church and still reads the Book of Mormon and Doctrine and Covenants. In the middle of our conversation T stumbles out the door and started screaming something at us, she was seriously having a fit. I've never seen an adult act like such a child. Which doesn't make sense because she loves the missionaries. Just goes to show you what alcohol does to completely sane people. Really sad. 

We are praying for and expecting miracles every day. Sometimes I would say that the thoughts that are brought to us from God through the Holy Ghost are miracles in themselves. One thought that has had a rather profound impact on my work lately is thinking that every single member that I work with here in Russia, every mother I pass on the street, and every investigator I teach will be with me in the next life. I will talk to them face to face. I want that conversation to be a good one. I don't want any, "Hey!!! Why didn't you stop me when you walked past me on the street?" Or, "why didn't you help me to better understand God's plan for me?" I want to put my whole heart into this work in every way.

"If you're gonna do something, put your whole heart into it...!"

The other day as I sat in the house of a less active, I realized that I was a little less involved in the lesson than I should have been. I really don't understand much of what she says considering all her words are becoming slurred as she is growing older and she is quite onry a lot of the time. As my companion was talking to her, I looked up on her wall and noticed a picture of her in her youth, and I realized that THAT is the person that will approach me in the next life. When I meet her I want our conversation to go a little something like this, "We didn't always understand one another, but I always understood that you loved me." People can tell really easily if you do/don't care about them. If you go about teaching people or visiting people or calling people, why do it AT ALL if you are going to do it without real intent? If you're gonna do something, put your whole heart into it, otherwise it literally does nothing for your spirit and it does nothing for the spirit of the person you're teaching.

I don't know if I have ever mentioned this before or not, but during one of the zone conferences President Bennett, one of the general authorities over our mission, asked an apostle how he studies his scriptures. He asked either Elder Bednar or Eyring, I can't remember who exactly. But he says that he reads until he feels the spirit, and then he keeps reading just a little bit more. If you are ever wondering how long you need to study your scriptures, try that :) don't do it for 30 minutes or read 5 chapters, read until you feel the spirit. That is my challenge to you.

Be good!

Love, Sister Brooklyn Wilson