June 9, 2015
Once again I don't even know where to start... first of all some people asked if we're allowed to wewar sunglasses or not because I was wearing some in my last email. Well, I read the white handbook and I don't see anywhere that it says we can't wear sunglasses. My guess is that Heavenly Father would want me to protect my eyes even on my mission :) But just in case I called Sister Schwab and asked if it was allowed and she told me I could, so there we have it :)
This week we did a lot of contacting again. We've been getting up early in the mornings and just hitting the streets for 2 hours. Samara is such a good place and the people on the streets are much sweeter but I do admit that I miss Saratov a little bit at times! I was there for a whole year and my heart is still wanting to go back somedays. Those members are my best friends. But I am working really hard on building relationships with people here as well. It's so awesome praying for people and trying to love people and really seeing a noticeable difference in a person when you are sincerely striving to build friendships instead of members thinking that we are just people who need their help for a month or two and then the relationship is cut off as soon as we leave. I really want to somehow have an impact on these people and their lives while I am still here.
L, the girl that I met the first week that I was in this area, has fallen off the face of the earth (she even had a baptism date and had heard the first three lessons!) And since then we have met a lot of wonderful people and so so many people who seem like they are so ready for the gospel... but they end up being a one time thing or they end up being totally not interested. Yesterday I was especially upset by this when we called a girl that we'd met yesterday who had told us that she has wanted a Book of Mormon for so long and was so excited when we gave her one, and then today we called her and she had blocked our number. Then we called another man we'd met on the street who was just begging us to help him to stop smoking and he had given us the wrong number. That pretty much brought me to my ends wits....
I have never prayed more fervently in my life for Heavenly Father to please please pleeease bless us with miracles and with people to share this amazing message with. As a mission we have a goal to baptism one person every cycle... yesterday I just felt my hope starting to run dry when I realized that we only have 2 weeks left in the cycle. I went into the bathroom and got on my knees and just prayed and told Heavenly Father exactly what I was feeling and honestly I was just having a "Oh God where art thou?" moment.
Actually after my prayer I just picked up the phone and called the APs. I explained that usually I call President about most of my problems but I really wanted to talk to some of my comrades who know what its like to hit the streets hour after hour after hour. I didn't expect to get emotional at all but I totally started crying. It just breaks your heart to invest your entire soul into helping these people and praying your heart out for these things and seeing nothing. I really was having a heart break moment. I was so grateful for them though, they really gave me all the words that I needed to hear and honestly all that I needed to hear was a little, "wipe away your tears, pull up your socks, and keep going." They were actually a lot nicer than that, but pretty much they said to keep pushing forward and rely on God and don't lose hope.
I really don't understand God's plans. I have no idea whether or not we will get a baptism this cycle. But God knows all things and I will keep praying for a baptism and for these people until the end of this cycle :)
Love, Sister Wilson
Faith also includes trust in God’s timing, for He has said,
“All things must come to pass in their time.” (D&C 64:32.)
We are to work steadily, but realistically,
and only expect to reap "in due season." (Gal. 6:9)
A reassuring promise is given us in this journey:
“And any man that shall go and preach this gospel of the kingdom,
and fail not to continue faithful in all things, shall not be weary in mind, neither darkened.” (D&C 84:80.)
Neil A. Maxwell - “LEST YE BE WEARIED AND FAINT IN YOUR MINDS”