Thursday, July 16, 2015

Bezi - Week 5 - "Thanks to the atonement!"

June 15, 2015

home sweet home
All is well :) 

I have been fighting homesickness a little bit in the last bit of time with summer coming around and knowing that all my friends are at home going to lake powell together and what not... but I will never be able to fully give Heavenly Father another summer in my entire life. It's only a small sacrifice when you look at eternity :) 

My companion is doing well :) Oh how I love and look up to Sister Sotnikova. She has NO fear. She also has incredible patience and humility, two attributes that I have been especially praying for lately. We are learning so much from each other every day and it's been a HUGE blessing to serve with her. 

Many of the time we call our investigators to meet and they don't answer the phone or they even busy us and it sometimes just seems that we are bothering them. So this week we prayed that Heavenly Father would help our investigators to call us themselves to meet. We prayed for this throughout the week, and you know what happened? Our investigators called us throughout the week :) not just one. Not just two. But many of them! This week we just begged and prayed for miracles and went out and worked and it seemed like we didn't see much success, but I know that our obedience and works in that moment allowed for Heavenly Father to pour out a bucket of blessing in one day :) I feel like God sometimes holds those blessings and sees if we will keep pushing forward, and when he sees that we will keep going... seeing miracles or not seeing miracles, he is so much more ready to bless us because he knows in that moment we are working simply because we love God. 

Guess what happened this week? L popped up out of no where. We have seen her 3 times this week, 2 times at different activities and once on a lesson. I pray for her still every day but I am terrified that she is going to disapear and break my heart again haha. She's a bit of a mystery... doesn't talk to us for 3 weeks and then pops out of no where and acts like everything is okay when we ask what happened. I think she's got some underground concerns that we need to dig up. Oh goodness... the roller coaster rides that us missionaries go through :) we were hoping that she'd come to church this Sunday... but it turns out that she promised one of the members that she'd go with him to some trampoline place. Ugh... sometimes I just want to shake some of these members by the shoulders. 

My companion and I have Borsch every single day :) it's so good.
Also she eats a brownie for every single meal
At the end of every single day, no matter how hard it is or what I did or did not accomplish... I can go to sleep with a smile on my face thanks to the Atonement of Christ. If there's anything I have learned on my mission, it is repentance and that we truly can FEEL cleansed thanks to the power of the Atonement. I am grateful to be walking dusty roads and feel what its like to be rejected and rejected hour after hour, because my gratitude for the Atonement grows, knowing that Christ has not only felt what I am feeling, but he has felt the pain and rejection that every missionary feels. I love my mission so much. I have no idea who I would be right now or what I would become without the rock solid foundation that my mission is helping me to build. I am honestly just pouring my heart out in prayer. Prayer has become so important in my life. It is like my lifeline. Anytime that I feel down trodden I can talk to somebody. I feel like maybe my faith has faltered in the last little bit and you know what? Everytime it is because I have taken my eyes off of Christ. Everytime I focus on Christ and remember all his promises I feel more peace. 

Love, Sister Wilson

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