Bezi - Week 11 - "The Bitter and the Sweet"

July 27, 2015

All is well,

This week was a bit of a rough one. We spent last Monday on a train up to Penza to do splits with Sisters Wagstaff and Thomas. That was really fun :) it's always nice to have a change of scenary. Also it was fun serving with Sister Wagstaff again, she was my last companion and I have missed her spunky personality. We spent a lot of time singing Josh Groban together during meal times this week :) I loved the train rides, it was nice to just sit back for a few hours and write in my journal or read a Liahona. Although our area really took a hit from it this week... we only had 2 member present lessons and one investigator at church. 

My companion is doing great, we spent some time discussing how we can exercise more faith this morning and I agreed that we need to cast out negative thoughts by SPEAKING something positive. Words are more powerful than thoughts right? 

MIRACLE! One of our investigators, who is the father of a new convert, has been struggling to read the Book of Mormon, especially because it's harder for him to understand since its not in his native language. This week he had a dream about a book that he received from some higher power, and the pages of the book were glowing. He said that he knew that his dream was about the Book of Mormon. Even though he can't read it, he said that he received a testimony of its divinity thanks to this dream. We are always asking that Heavenly Father somehow bless our  investigators to know the truthfulness of the church. I am so grateful that we aren't the ones who need to think up these miracles, but that God gives a special witness to each person in a special way, because he is the only one who really knows what they need. 

I love church. So so much. If you are ever bored at church I would like to invite you to go to church with a pen and a paper. Why would God open the heavens and give you revelation if you're just going to forget it? When we have a pencil and a paper in our hands God knows that we are serious about learning :) you would never go to math class or biology class without a pen and a paper, so why wouldn't you do the same in church? Why do we go to church in the first place? To learn right? By bringing  a pen and paper you can recall the feelings and the promptings of the Spirit that you had at church, and take those home with you. 

I have been really struggling to keep my faith consistent. I feel like my body and the natural man really makes me forget my purpose here from time to time. At all times I honestly try to talk with everyone. I do the work. Wonderful. But honestly I feel like more than frequently I get turned on autopilot, no matter how hard I pray about charity I feel like I am sometimes speaking without feeling or sincerity and I really hate it. But I know that there is opposition in all things, my best today is not what my best will be tomorrow or what it was yesterday. And for that reason I am grateful for the atonement. I am grateful that Christ knows EXACTLY what I am feeling. He knows what it feels like to have such a serious calling because his calling was the most serious calling of all... atoning for all mankind. If I just remember that this is his work and not mine, that I am simply a servant in the field and I have no say in when the harvest will be... it takes a great weight off my shoulders. I really wish I could keep that perspective and remember that more often.

Yesterday our mission president came to our branch for church. I am coming to an end on my mission and have really been begging my Heavenly Father for more steam. I feel like I have never understood the words, "endure to the end" until now. It's really not hard enduring to the end, anyone can do it, but the quality of our enduring is really what counts. Runners sprint to the end, they don't slow down, and I want to be able to do the same. The mission president's wife said something that really struck me. She said, "before this life, we lived with God, and he had a plan for us to come to earth and to receive a body to become more like him. Right now we are learning how to use our bodies, how to control our bodies, we haven't always had a body." In that moment I realized something. How long did I live with God before this life? Probably a loooong time. How long have I had a body? 20 years. No wonder it is so hard to control this thing, to not get annoyed by small things or not to lash out when we're hungry or not to complain when things don't go write, to tame our natural man. We aren't used to it. We're still learning how to use our bodies. That thought really helped me to have more mercy on myself, and I know that God has infinite patience with us as well, and Christ's atonement will be there for us until we get it right :) 

I love my mission, always will :) it's full of the sweet and full of the bitter. But we are promised by a loving Heavenly Father that anything bitter, anything unfair or hard will be made right by the atonement. I know that is true.

Love,

Sister Brooklyn Wilson 

Saratov - Week 17 - "Transfers!"

May 11, 2015

All is well :)

Man what a week. I love love looooved skyping home and I can't believe that it will be my last time.... I have seven months left and saying that I feel like I am saying that I have 5 years left sometimes. Time is such a weird thing on a mission. Thinking back 7 months ago I was just starting my companionship with Sister Martinez, which I remember vividly, but thinking about all that has happened within that amount of time.... it is just insane. The amount of memories that I have is really so crazy being out here. That's what makes time go slow sometimes, just recalling all that has happened within that amount of time. The best thing is though that everything in front of me is good :) I have absolutely nothing to dread, nothing to be afraid of. Actually I do have things that I am afraid of, things that might devistate me actually. But I know that if I put my will in God's hands, and let him take care of things, and keep his commandments, and remember my covenants... then all will be well :)  

I found out my transfers early this week..... let's just say that I made a phone call to the mission president's wife about measurements for cooking, and somehow by the end of that conversation I got it out of her that I would be leaving my area and even switching zones. I've been in the Saratov Zone my entire mission so it's about time I leave and its about time that some other wonderful missionaries come to the promised land :) However, I was completely in denial and she was really getting a good kick out of listening to me just moaning and screeching over the phone. I LOVE Solnechney so so much. I had no idea that I could come to love a people in such a short amount of time. There are the most wonderful members here. The youth are incredible every where in this zone actually and so much is happening in Saratov. 

I didn't find out real transfers until Saturday night and I found out that I'm headed up to Bezi which is in Samara. That's actually where Elder Graf is serving right now (for those of you who don't know who that is, he's a good high school friend of mine), so it looks like we're making a swap . He will be serving in Oktyabirski, which is probably the most dangerous part of Saratov, so pray that he makes it home in June....... ;) 

This week was pretty crazy and my mind was in a thousand different places...... obviously. Transfer time in the last little bit has given me crazy anxiety (any former missionary understands that) But I am so ready to put my all into this new area and have a clean slate in a new area and with a new companion, who is Russian by the way. Something new is always a good adventure :) 

Love,

Sister Wilson 

Saratov - Week 16 - "Obedience brings Blessings"

May 4 2015

All is well :) 

This week O was baptized and it was such a special baptism. I have never seen a baptism that was so perfect! I also played "I Know that my Redeemer Lives" by Paul Cardall on the piano. Regardless of the fact that I haven't played piano basically since I left the MTC I was still able to play as if I had practiced all week :) Heavenly Father really helped me, of that I am absolutely certain. 

One of our investigators that we found this cycle has had an ENORMOUS ammount of progress. It was shocking to me on our last lesson. She is understanding the doctrine SO well, compared to our first lesson when I felt like we were getting no where. She love love loves meeting with us and having lessons and understands so well our role here and everytime we ask her, "are you coming to church this week?" she says, "absolutely!" Oh how I love that answer. To me, coming to church is the most important commitment that we give to investigators, and for some reason it is the one that they have the hardest time following through with, so when they do follow through with it it just makes me sooo happy and relieved. It's always a mystery on Sunday of who or who will not come to church.

Once again it was a really great week. We had a lot of lessons and were running from place to place. I honestly feel like there are plenty of missionaries who deserve to be in my shoes and enjoying this part of the vineyard. I know for a fact that there are missionaries who are more obedient and hard working than I am. So why are we experiencing such great success? Every act of obedience brings blessings. To whom that blessing will go or where it will go we have no idea, but we can be certain that the blessings are there. This week while I was praying and pondering and asking questions I had a strong impression come to me that this part of the vineyard is blossoming not only thanks to the prayers and the obedience of ourselves, but of other people's prayers and other people's acts of obedience. 

I really am striving to push out doubts and just act on faith. Something my companion said this morning really hit me. She said that Satan tries to get us to do missionary work the easiest and most comfortable way possible. But the truth is that missionary work is always uncomfortable and will always be hard if we are not exercising faith in Christ. Lately I have really just be pushing to remember all that God has done for us, all the AMAZING blessings that are in this area and I am trying to not let my day to day mood drag me down. 

I realized today that our desires change depending on our mood, so... let's not depend on our moods, let's depend on faith in Christ :) which is constant and unwavering. 

I am doing well as a missionary. I have recently realized that I have actually developed a lot of spiritual progress on my mission, and I am so grateful. Thanks to my mission I have developed a love for reading the scriptures, I have learned HOW to exercise faith in Christ, I now feel a deep need to pray, and at the end of every day I can get on my knees and use the great gift of repentance :) Such small things that have such a big impact on our lives. 

I love my mission. I thank Heavenly Father for the experiences I have gained here every single night. 

Love, Sister Wilson 

Saratov - Week 12 - "Living as Christ Lived"

April 6, 2015

All is well,

Sorry this letter is going to be a short one. 

My companion got sick this week so being inside, the work has slowed down just a tad here in Solnechney. Which I have never had a sick companion before. But I did all I could to keep myself busy and wow did the time fly! Everything is stamped with our church's address and I did some Russian studies and made lots of tea and lots of calls :) She is feeling much better today though and we're all rested and recuperated so we should be ready to just go full speed this week! 

I am honestly just striving more to follow the spirit. Realizing that if I am getting a good prompting, that I need to follow through with it because its from God. We can ask ourselves, "at the end of the day, will following this prompting make me a better person?" if it produces any sort of spiritual growth and test of faith I am trying to follow through with it. 

We are praying for miracles every single day. Can't leave that out of prayers! This week we really met with some wonderful people. We saw people's hearts changed by the spirit and many of our plans fell through which required us to use our faith and to seek out the Lord's plan for us that day :) it's so interesting that for every day that we live on this earth... every hour we have is meant for something. If we are alive, it means that we have a purpose and that God wants us to go about living as Christ would. It's so amazing to look at the Savior's life. Never a better hero :) never a wasted day and not one regret! For that reason we really can look to the Savior and know what we need to be doing at all times. If you are sad, look to the Savior! If you're bored, look to the Savior. What would he do? All of us who have been baptized have taken upon ourselves the name of Christ, which means that we will try to live as he would. In that regards... I would say that if we have taken upon ourselves by covenant, the name of Christ then we better know him! How can you take upon yourself the name of a company without knowing anything about the product? It's the same with the Savior but even more serious because we've promised God to do so! We have made a covenant. So who is the Savior? For that reason we have God's written word. The scriptures :) read the scriptures, especially the Book of Mormon to come to know him, and then ACT. The Book of Mormon is good for nothing unless its teaching get inside of us. Knowledge will not save us if we are not doing anything to live in accordance to that knowledge. So I challenge anyone who reads this to come closer to the Savior. Become saturated in his teachings and then let that knowledge make your life beautiful by seeing the fruit of living a Christlike life. I know that doing so will give you more purpose in your life and you won't feel so much that you are simply going through the motions. Let your life has purpose :) 

We will hear conference next weekend (and we will be listening to it in English of course). But I am so looking forward to that! I was once promised in a blessing that if I ever need any sort of motivation, that if I will look to the words of the prophets then I will be filled. And honestly I know that that is true. I love conference and have a strong testimony of the importance of watching it. You never know what sort of things God wants you to know :) 

Much love, 

Sister Brooklyn Wilson 

Click below for a beautiful video testifying of the life and divinity of our Savior

"BECAUSE of HIM"

Saratov Week 11 - "Staying in Solcheney"

March 30, 2015

All is well :) 

Sister Coleman and Sister Wilson

Sister Coleman is flying home on an airplane as I am writing this letter, that is just crazy! I can't imagine what that plane ride feels like. I can't imagine what it feels like to step foot in your home again.

During zone training this week President Schwab said that we would be shocked if we could only see the amount of support fighting with us from the other side of the veil. My kids are helping me, my ancestors are helping me. I have so much love and support. I have good parents, wonderful siblings, cousins... and support from other missionaries who are here with us. I really mean it when I say that a mission only gives back. I cannot even count the endless amount of friendships that I have made, with members, with missionaries, and even with random people on the streets. The memories alone make a mission worth it (although that's not a good reason to go on a mission) I mean really though... who thought I'd be living in Russia for 18 months? If you told me that when I was 15 years old I would have laughed. What we put into a mission is what we will get back, that's really what it is. 

We are really praying for miracles every single day. One of the biggest miracles was talking about tithing with one of our investigators who is progressing toward baptism. This investigator was found over a year ago and is so so hard to get a hold of but she just soaks up spiritual knowledge like the sun. We have finally discovered that the best way to go about doing anything with her is always setting up return appointments. She knows what day we are coming and what time and she can prepare herself spiritually for those lessons. She even told us that when she knows we are coming over she is just antsy all day with anticipation to see us. This week we focused on the commandments with her and were very pleasantly surprised with her reaction to tithing. I feel bad for how little faith we had going over there! Tithing is usually something scary for people, and we know that N really struggles with work and with trying to take care of her family. However she was so open to it and accepted it without any doubts. She even said that she thinks it will probably help her with her financial problems. That's faith :) 

Last night we had a lesson that was based on faith. However as I was teaching the lesson I realized that I was simply speaking empty words that were true... but that had little meaning or feeling to me while I was saying it. I realized last night that I actually understand faith very poorly. I have also realized that one of the reasons why I am having a difficult time understanding this principle is because I haven't been exercising it. Exercising faith is looking unto Christ in every thought, doubting not, and fearing not. I reread the talk on faith by elder Bednar "according to thy faith" which president Bennett gave to us last summer as well as studying faith in true to the faith. We really need to study faith more. I feel like at the beginning of my mission I really understood what exercising faith meant because I was such a weak little missionary and I really relied on the Savior. However, now that I can speak the language, now that I am not afraid to talk to anyone, now that I know the gospel principles (not that I necessarily understand them all)... I have started to rely on my own power. How foolish! I need to set more goals and push myself harder. As soon as we are all snug in our comfort zone we are really in trouble. Sometimes when we are uncomfortable and really straining ourselves is when we see real miracles because we begin to rely on the redeeming power of the Savior. I really want to set more goals this week and use my faith and see the fruit of my works with God's help. 

My new companion is Sister Wagstaff, I've only been with her for a day, but from what I can see she is just a little ball of sunshine! :) 

Have a wonderful week!

Sister Brooklyn Wilson