Kazan Week 9 - "All Things Possible"

October 12, 2015

Sister Tweade and Sister Wilson

All is well :) 

I don't have a ton of time to write today.... (or maybe I have a lack of motivation to write today...) so I'll just give a little update on everything :) 

We had splits this week with Sister Twede and her companion. That was a blast like always and I will always be blown away by Sister Twede's ability to give out Books of Mormon. 

This weekend we will have a zone conference down in Samara with two zones, it's my first combined zone zone conference, so that'd be cool :) I'm so excited to see all my missionary friends. Also Sister McConkie (I don't know how to spell it) the1st counselor in the young women's presidency will be coming down to talk to us.

Well, our new convert, Z came to church on Sunday, which is a miracle because I'm always afraid of new converts being less active after their baptisms. But I'm counting that as a miracle :) Also, we had a branch activity and this African girl came and is from Gauna. She only speaks english and we were able to teach her and give her a Book of Mormon. That night she called us and told us that one of her friends wants to come to conference tomorrow, she said, "but... she's a white chick and she's Russian." I couldn't help but crack up... Then after I hung up the phone I immediately got another call from someone. It was a man and he said that he found one of our church invitations and has a problem with alcohol and really wants to quit and wants to meet. Two calls in a row, back to back even! That was pretty cool :)

A lot of our investigators have stopped answering calls lately or coming to church... which is a bummer, always is. But man am I learning patience from it :)

Conference was great. During it I realized that I am trying to carry all my burdens on my own, without the Lord's help. What a big mistake. Last night when I was all out of energy like I frequently am on Sunday nights... I just stopped and prayed, and asked for strength. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to do much that night, but I know that every effort counts and that Christ's atonement will make up for the things that are impossible to me. Because all things ARE possible through him.

Love,

Sister Wilson 

Brooklyn mentioned Sister Carol F. McConkie, a member of the Young Women General Presidency in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The following is a quote from Sister McConkie's recent General Conference talk "Here to Serve a Righteous Cause":

"In the work of salvation, there is no room for comparison, criticism, or condemnation. It is not about age, experience, or public acclaim. This sacred work is about developing a broken heart, a contrite spirit, and a willingness to use our divine gifts and unique talents to do the Lord’s work in His way. It is having the humility to fall on our knees and say, 'O my Father, … not as I will, but as thou wilt.'


In the strength of the Lord, we 'can do all things.' We continually seek His guidance in prayer, in the scriptures, and in the whisperings of the Holy Ghost." 

Bezi - Week 11 - "The Bitter and the Sweet"

July 27, 2015

All is well,

This week was a bit of a rough one. We spent last Monday on a train up to Penza to do splits with Sisters Wagstaff and Thomas. That was really fun :) it's always nice to have a change of scenary. Also it was fun serving with Sister Wagstaff again, she was my last companion and I have missed her spunky personality. We spent a lot of time singing Josh Groban together during meal times this week :) I loved the train rides, it was nice to just sit back for a few hours and write in my journal or read a Liahona. Although our area really took a hit from it this week... we only had 2 member present lessons and one investigator at church. 

My companion is doing great, we spent some time discussing how we can exercise more faith this morning and I agreed that we need to cast out negative thoughts by SPEAKING something positive. Words are more powerful than thoughts right? 

MIRACLE! One of our investigators, who is the father of a new convert, has been struggling to read the Book of Mormon, especially because it's harder for him to understand since its not in his native language. This week he had a dream about a book that he received from some higher power, and the pages of the book were glowing. He said that he knew that his dream was about the Book of Mormon. Even though he can't read it, he said that he received a testimony of its divinity thanks to this dream. We are always asking that Heavenly Father somehow bless our  investigators to know the truthfulness of the church. I am so grateful that we aren't the ones who need to think up these miracles, but that God gives a special witness to each person in a special way, because he is the only one who really knows what they need. 

I love church. So so much. If you are ever bored at church I would like to invite you to go to church with a pen and a paper. Why would God open the heavens and give you revelation if you're just going to forget it? When we have a pencil and a paper in our hands God knows that we are serious about learning :) you would never go to math class or biology class without a pen and a paper, so why wouldn't you do the same in church? Why do we go to church in the first place? To learn right? By bringing  a pen and paper you can recall the feelings and the promptings of the Spirit that you had at church, and take those home with you. 

I have been really struggling to keep my faith consistent. I feel like my body and the natural man really makes me forget my purpose here from time to time. At all times I honestly try to talk with everyone. I do the work. Wonderful. But honestly I feel like more than frequently I get turned on autopilot, no matter how hard I pray about charity I feel like I am sometimes speaking without feeling or sincerity and I really hate it. But I know that there is opposition in all things, my best today is not what my best will be tomorrow or what it was yesterday. And for that reason I am grateful for the atonement. I am grateful that Christ knows EXACTLY what I am feeling. He knows what it feels like to have such a serious calling because his calling was the most serious calling of all... atoning for all mankind. If I just remember that this is his work and not mine, that I am simply a servant in the field and I have no say in when the harvest will be... it takes a great weight off my shoulders. I really wish I could keep that perspective and remember that more often.

Yesterday our mission president came to our branch for church. I am coming to an end on my mission and have really been begging my Heavenly Father for more steam. I feel like I have never understood the words, "endure to the end" until now. It's really not hard enduring to the end, anyone can do it, but the quality of our enduring is really what counts. Runners sprint to the end, they don't slow down, and I want to be able to do the same. The mission president's wife said something that really struck me. She said, "before this life, we lived with God, and he had a plan for us to come to earth and to receive a body to become more like him. Right now we are learning how to use our bodies, how to control our bodies, we haven't always had a body." In that moment I realized something. How long did I live with God before this life? Probably a loooong time. How long have I had a body? 20 years. No wonder it is so hard to control this thing, to not get annoyed by small things or not to lash out when we're hungry or not to complain when things don't go write, to tame our natural man. We aren't used to it. We're still learning how to use our bodies. That thought really helped me to have more mercy on myself, and I know that God has infinite patience with us as well, and Christ's atonement will be there for us until we get it right :) 

I love my mission, always will :) it's full of the sweet and full of the bitter. But we are promised by a loving Heavenly Father that anything bitter, anything unfair or hard will be made right by the atonement. I know that is true.

Love,

Sister Brooklyn Wilson 

Bezi - Week 6 - "Transfers"

June 22, 2015

Bezi branch meeting house
tucked behind all those beautiful trees

All is well :) 

We got transfers this weekend and it was one of the first times on my entire mission that I wasn't extremely nervous to know where I would be going. I had a feeling that I would probably be here with Sister Sotnikova another cycle, and we were right :) However.... there is a catch. I am going to be in a trio. Sister Twede is supposed to be training this cycle, but her trainee didn't get her visa, so Sister Twede will be with us until her trainee comes. I've never been in a trio, and honestly I kind of felt like Joseph Smith when he found out that he needed to practice pologamy. It seems like it would be so hard to share your love with another person! However my companion has been in a trio a couple times, and she says that its like having children... you love all of them sooo much, just in different ways because they are all different :) Sister Twede and I knew each other before the mission and she is SUPER humble and creative and I'm not afraid of her at all, it's the word trio that scares me. I am sure she probably felt the same when she heard she'd be in a trio! But the next morning when I woke up I just felt peace and I have a feeling that I'm going to learn a lot about compromising opinions (between 3 people now) and that this cycle is actually going to be a blast. I'm so excited to be learning from another missionary! 

Sister Sotnikova really helped me with my accent this week. It seems to me that an accent isn't about learning how to speak like a Russian, but learning how to speak every single word correctly. We were reading together and she'd pick out about 5 words that I needed to work on. It's so weird because a lot of the time I can't even hear the difference when she tells me the correct and incorrect way to say a word.  

Of course we're praying for miracles. And we've gotten a lot more specific in the miracles that we are seeking. Last week the morning started out real tough. I had the biggest black cloud over my head. I felt that I couldn't do the work because I knew that the Spirit wasn't with me. So I asked that we sit down a moment and I prayed until I felt the Spirit return to me, and the Spirit returned to me when I remembered that we need to always look to Christ. But anyway Heavenly Father is so wise, he totally knew that Sister Wilson was going to take a minute and sit on a bench and pray and he planned a miracle into our day. About 30 minutes later we ran into a member who was on his way somewhere. We stopped him and talked a minute, and then before departing my brilliant companion asked for a referral. This member gave us TWENTY referrals. He went through his phone with us and picked out people that he thought were good candidates, these people are spiritual and he has talked to them about us. What's cool is that one of those people came to english and showed great interest in the Book of Mormon and has now become an investigator. 

Another miracle, I called Sister Martinez this week to ask for some numbers of new converts to call in their area and she told me that N, one of the people that we stopped on the street last cycle, was baptized. Which is super interesting. I vividly remember that day. I had thee worst mood ever, and we were hurrying to a lot of lessons and I remember that we only contacted like 5 people that day. Well, N is one of them. And now she's a member :) so that's cool. 

Our area isn't doing so hot right now. We had about 4 member present lessons this week. My friend told me that in Mexico last week they got 13 new investigators in one week. That would be a HUGE miracle if that happened here during the period of a 6 week cycle. We've been doing a whole lot of contacting, my feet are always killing me by the end of the day, but it's a good kind of pain :) 

The other night while I was praying I realized that my urgency to obedience could still be stronger. I also came to the realization that, you know what? Obedience is not something that only applies to a mission. I will not only have to be obedience to rules that I don't understand on a mission, but I will have to submit myself to commands or promptings from God later down the road. When my child wants to go out with friends and the Spirit compels me to say no, I must say no. I must be obedient. I am praying for that desire and urgency to not slacken or loosen up on obedience. Sometimes it just seems like things would be easier by trying to get around the rules. But that is the way that Satan works. He is the father of all lies. He is the great deciever. He has no power to fulfil his promises the way that God can. 

With Love,

Sister Wilson 

Bezi - Week 4 - "Pull up your socks"

June 9, 2015

All is well :) of course.

Once again I don't even know where to start... first of all some people asked if we're allowed to wewar sunglasses or not because I was wearing some in my last email. Well, I read the white handbook and I don't see anywhere that it says we can't wear sunglasses. My guess is that Heavenly Father would want me to protect my eyes even on my mission :) But just in case I called Sister Schwab and asked if it was allowed and she told me I could, so there we have it :)

This week we did a lot of contacting again. We've been getting up early in the mornings and just hitting the streets for 2 hours. Samara is such a good place and the people on the streets are much sweeter but I do admit that I miss Saratov a little bit at times! I was there for a whole year and my heart is still wanting to go back somedays. Those members are my best friends. But I am working really hard on building relationships with people here as well. It's so awesome praying for people and trying to love people and really seeing a noticeable difference in a person when you are sincerely striving to build friendships instead of members thinking that we are just people who need their help for a month or two and then the relationship is cut off as soon as we leave. I really want to somehow have an impact on these people and their lives while I am still here. 

L, the girl that I met the first week that I was in this area, has fallen off the face of the earth (she even had a baptism date and had heard the first three lessons!) And since then we have met a lot of wonderful people and so so many people who seem like they are so ready for the gospel... but they end up being a one time thing or they end up being totally not interested. Yesterday I was especially upset by this when we called a girl that we'd met yesterday who had told us that she has wanted a Book of Mormon for so long and was so excited when we gave her one, and then today we called her and she had blocked our number. Then we called another man we'd met on the street who was just begging us to help him to stop smoking and he had given us the wrong number. That pretty much brought me to my ends wits.... 

I have never prayed more fervently in my life for Heavenly Father to please please pleeease bless us with miracles and with people to share this amazing message with. As a mission we have a goal to baptism one person every cycle... yesterday I just felt my hope starting to run dry when I realized that we only have 2 weeks left in the cycle. I went into the bathroom and got on my knees and just prayed and told Heavenly Father exactly what I was feeling and honestly I was just having a "Oh God where art thou?" moment. 

Actually after my prayer I just picked up the phone and called the APs. I explained that usually I call President about most of my problems but I really wanted to talk to some of my comrades who know what its like to hit the streets hour after hour after hour. I didn't expect to get emotional at all but I totally started crying. It just breaks your heart to invest your entire soul into helping these people and praying your heart out for these things and seeing nothing. I really was having a heart break moment. I was so grateful for them though, they really gave me all the words that I needed to hear and honestly all that I needed to hear was a little, "wipe away your tears, pull up your socks, and keep going." They were actually a lot nicer than that, but pretty much they said to keep pushing forward and rely on God and don't lose hope. 

I really don't understand God's plans. I have no idea whether or not we will get a baptism this cycle. But God knows all things and I will keep praying for a baptism and for these people until the end of this cycle :) 

Love, Sister Wilson 

Faith also includes trust in God’s timing, for He has said,

 “All things must come to pass in their time.” (D&C 64:32.)

We are to work steadily, but realistically, 

and only expect to reap "in due season." (Gal. 6:9)

A reassuring promise is given us in this journey:

 “And any man that shall go and preach this gospel of the kingdom, 

and fail not to continue faithful in all things, shall not be weary in mind, neither darkened.” (D&C 84:80.)

Neil A. Maxwell - “LEST YE BE WEARIED AND FAINT IN YOUR MINDS”

Bezi - Week 3 - "Not getting cooler anytime soon"

June 1, 2015

All is well :) 

This week we did a lot of contacting. We noticed that a lot of our investigators really aren't progressing, when people won't keep commitments time after time after time... maybe they need a little bit of time. We did splits with the sisters from Penza and the whole time it was just contacting. I have really come to love the way that each sister works individually out here, I love how much I can learn from each missionary. I have actually starting tracking qualities that I love in others and writing them down, one of the qualities that I have really fallen in love with out here is humility. Which maybe I love that quality because it is something that I am lacking a little bit :) 

We are praying for miracles every day and praying more fervently. I think we really could still pray more earnestly. I am just grateful for Heavenly Father softening people's hearts every day. If I can get a few good conversations in every day I feel really good. But something that my companion pointed out to me this week is that literally no effort is wasted. Literally. For example if we just talk to a woman on the bus with 2 young daughters and make really friendly conversation and help her to understand that we are normal people... well maybe 10 years down the road one of the daughters will be 16 and find the missionaries and desire to be baptized, and that mother will allow it because she knows that we are normal people because missionaries made friendly conversation with her 10 years ago. It really is nice to know that literally all acts now can bring miracles later down the road. 

The branch here has about 30 people who come reguarly. The branch president has been in office for about 20 years now, what a valiant man. There's quite a bit of drama in our branch and just some contention and I can't imagine how exhausting his job is. There are lots of grandmas and a lot of youth that are new converts, which a lot of those new converts went less active not long after baptism so we're working on leading them back to the fold by focusing on faith in Christ. 

I can honestly say that before my mission I had no idea what it meant to exercise faith in Christ. I feel like maybe now after repetition and studying and pondering I know what faith is, but actually exercising that faith is a constant battle. The other day I was thinking to myself about why my family has stayed in the church all these years. To me it just seemed like a habit coming to church and reading scriptures and praying because that's just how I was raised... but honestly what has kept me coming back and thirsting for more is the Spirit. I know that this church is true because of what I feel. Whenever I feel tempted to doubt, I try to recall what the Spirit has given me and recalling those feels gives me hope that I will feel them again :) 

Love,

Sister Wilson 

Alma 32:28 : “If ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, … ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed … for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me.”

For more beautiful quotes on Faith click here

Saratov Week 9 - "Balakovo, city of miracles!!"

March 9, 2015

All is well,

Oh man. I am still in shock about how much can happen on a mission in just one week. Or a day, or even a few hours. I sometimes feel that I will do more on a mission that I will ever do in my entire life. 

SO, we went to Balakovo on exchanges this week, my birth place :') And WOW was that refreshing. I just fell back in love with everyone there. Not only the members, but literally that people on the streets! I am sorry but I have to say it, people are just straight up nicer in Balakovo. It's so easy to give out Books of Mormon there. However, Saratov is waiting for a stake, so of course there going to be more persecution there. ANYYYWAY. I will just relate some of the things that happened in Balakovo. 

First of all, Sv... (someone our companionship baptized) was in Moscow, so I didn't get to see her but I talked to her over the phone and she is doing great :) still going strong and reading her scriptures every day! Then we did get to meet with S, the 15 year old girl who was baptized is doing so so good. She just gets it. I wouldn't be surprised if she goes on a mission someday. And then we also met with N, who is handicapped and just about died when she opened the door and saw me. I have never seen anything cuter in my life. She was just jumping up and down and hugging me and then would look at my face and then hug me again. But the best meeting that we had by far was with a less active member named "E".

Sister Martinez said that "E" texted the sisters one night and said, "I need help. I have a drinking problem and I have been avoiding meeting with you because I thought you'd be disapointed." The sisters haven't been able to meet with her since I've been gone and we finally got a meeting set up for when I came. We didn't know whether or not we should bring a member with us because we were afraid that she might not open up, but president Schwab said that it is always better to have a member than have none at all. So we invited the new branch president, Zhenya. I was just praying the whole time that we could touch her heart. That we could somehow been instruments by which she could feel her Heavenly Father's love and have a desire to come back to him. The lesson was focused on Christ and we read and studied about why we need an atonement. We asked her if she still prays and said said no. That just broke my heart. I then told her how much her Heavenly Father loves and adore her, how precious she is to him and how precious their relationship is to him. And that was did it for her, she just began to sob. Zhenya then offered her a blessing, and I nodded encouragingly toward her. As he blessed her, tears just streamed down her face. One thing that really stood out to me during that blessing were the words, "God wants to speak to you." The spirit was so strong there. We invited her to start praying again, AT LEAST once a day. As we got up to leave I hugged her and reminded her, "don't forget who you are, and don't forget that God wants to talk to you." The tears began to stream again and she told me she loved me and thanked us for coming. That was one of the most powerful lessons I have had on my mission. I know it was so sacred to my Heavenly Father. 

Nothing breaks my heart more than knowing that people have stopped praying. Prayer is the most important source of relationship building with God, and Satan understands that quite well. Don't let him convince you that prayer is important, and when you have that thought say, "WHOOOA Hey there Satan! You really just gave yourself away by giving me that thought because anything that tells me not to pray is from the devil!" NEVER STOP PRAYING. I literally don't know how I could even survive ONE DAY here in Russia without prayer. 

I myself am doing okay. I have been thinking that something is wrong with me lately because I've been so down in the dumps and I just feel like a drag, and I don't know why?! I am praying praying praying to be lifted up and to rely on Christ, because I literally have NO reason to complain or be sad. We have investigators. We have seen baptisms. I was just wondering what on earth is wrong with me as we were walking out of the church building yesterday and I was suddenly BLINDED by the sun. I was instantly just filled with JOY! I MISS THE SUN SO MUCH. Seriously I think I am lacking in vitamin d or something. Goodness. Thank goodness winter is almost over. Pray for the sun to keep coming out :) and this might be the most missionary thing I'll ever say, but it really just reminded me of the Savior. A life without sun is like a life without the Savior. 

Yesterday was my halfway mark on my mission and it was also national womans day which is a HUGE holiday in Russia. My companion and I got roses and soap and candy from people at church :) Also a really old babooshka approached me at church yesterday and commended me for wearing my hair in a braid and not letting my hair down like all the other wild girls these days. Russian grandmothers are great :) 

Such a miraculous week. Truly. And a mission really is the best decision I have ever made. It is the hardest thing I've ever done but every aspect of it really is worth it. 

Love, 

Sister Wilson 

Sister Wilson refers to the importance of the sun and it's affect on her mood, and she likened that light to our Savior, Jesus Christ. Elder David A. Bednar, an apostle in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, teaches more about Light HERE

"Saratov - Week 2"

January 19, 2015

All is well!

Saratov is wonderful. Oh my goodness and the members... there is one member named S. Man, I wish you could all meet him. He makes me laugh so hard, I literally don't think there is anything better in the world that laughter. It makes everything so much better. We went over to their house the other night and they kept us waaay too long just telling us amazing stories about how they joined the church, we finally just had to pretty much literally walk out the door as he was in the middle of one of his tangents. 

My companion is Sister Busman and she is a powerhorse. She never sits down to rest, I have to remind her that she should probably actually get some food into her stomach for lunch :) She's always making calls or doing something, and it is her last cycle, so I am having to sprint to keep up with her. She loves to sing Russian hymns as we walk down the streets together (I have no idea how she memorized any of them) and her and I run up and down 10 flights of stairs for exercise in the mornings, we've been so sore lately! But it feels sooo good to finally exercise. 

This area is super busy with less active and new convert work. We are constantly running from one place to another, I am really just wondering how we are going to have any time to find some investigators to teach. 

We have really trying to get a hold of two new converts who we just baptized last year and have pretty much ever since then disappeared. One is A, the other is N. A is about 20 years old, he has freckles and has a quiet confidence about him. N is about 60 I would say and has all gold teeth, all but one real tooth on the top row. But her smile really isn't scary looking, I love her smile :) I was privileged to be at A's baptism because we happened to be on splits with the sister training leaders that weekend. I saw so much light in this young man's eyes. I could really see so much potential in him. But Satan has been working hard on him, he got a job and is now studying and it's been a difficult transition for him. This week while struggling to get lessons with members, it seems that all has fallen through. So interesting how hard you try, God makes it so that no body will answer their phones to set up lessons because he really wants you to meet someone on the street. One night when all plans fell through we decided to go to a less active and then a member, well the less active lesson fell through, so we went over to the member's house a little earlier since we had nothing to do before that. Just as we were about to walk into her apartment I noticed a boy walking on the street, his back was toward us and I couldn't see his face, and suddenly my mouth blurted out, "A!!!" The boy turned, and sure enough it was A. He ran over to us and we were able to remind him of who he is, and what is most important and that without God he cannot reach his potential. He was so happy to see us, and I know that the spirit really touched him. I know that I did not just "happen" to be at A's baptism, I wouldn't have been able to recognize him and call out to him if I hadn't have been there. 

Then N, who was also just barely baptized... her family found out that she joined the church and turned on her. She decided to move, considering all the family problems and some problems with her apartment... and we lost all contact with her. Well the other night as we were running somewhere again, late again actually... we were giving out church invitations while still trying to hurry up... one of the invitations fell into the hands of who? N. God had placed her right on our path. It turns out that she returned to the city just to grab a few things that she had forgotten, and she agreed to meet with us at least one last time this week considering that Sister Busman is leaving Russia for good in just a few weeks. We had been praying so fervently for both of these new members and Heavenly Father is taking care of them, he put not just one, but both of them on our pathes this week. If that's not a miracle, then I don't know what is.

Also... the other night on the bus I was sitting by a girl about my age, and I asked her if she has ever wondered if God really exists. She said she didn't know if he did or didn't. And I said, "you can find out! Do you want to find out?" I explained that she can know that he is there through prayer... she just looked at me a little shocked, and then looked down at the book sitting on my lap. She asked what the book was, and I put the Book of Mormon in her hands. She was just thumbing through the pages and really admiring it. Then her mother looked over and grabbed the book and put it back in my hands. I insisted that it was a gift for her daughter but the mom insisted that I take it back. Both me and the girl looked at each other with sad eyes and she turned to her mom and said, "maybe I could just read a little bit of it...?" Her mom responded with a strict no. So sad :( But I know that this girl will never forget the Book of Mormon, next time she sees it she will be ready :) 

I am doing well as an individual, I actually had a rather eye opening experience last night. My mood the entire day had been really sour, and I had been trying to suppress it the best that I could with prayer. As we were hurrying to a meeting with somebody I pulled out my phone and just began to make calls to members to simply thank them for the service that they render. It was wonderful, we thanked them for their care and concern and help and told them that we love them. It was wonderful to hear how shocked they were that we actually weren't calling for help :) It just made me feel so good, being grateful, and you know what? Doing something that small and simple changed my whole mood! Really the whole night I had the spirit with me and I just felt like a butterfly. I will have to say that I definitely benefited from the "service" than they did :)

I feel a little frantic writing this letter, we really don't have much time today so I feel like I'm all over the place. I hope everything makes sense :) 

Have a wonderful week everyone!

Sister Brooklyn Wilson