Kazan Week 9 - "All Things Possible"

October 12, 2015

Sister Tweade and Sister Wilson

All is well :) 

I don't have a ton of time to write today.... (or maybe I have a lack of motivation to write today...) so I'll just give a little update on everything :) 

We had splits this week with Sister Twede and her companion. That was a blast like always and I will always be blown away by Sister Twede's ability to give out Books of Mormon. 

This weekend we will have a zone conference down in Samara with two zones, it's my first combined zone zone conference, so that'd be cool :) I'm so excited to see all my missionary friends. Also Sister McConkie (I don't know how to spell it) the1st counselor in the young women's presidency will be coming down to talk to us.

Well, our new convert, Z came to church on Sunday, which is a miracle because I'm always afraid of new converts being less active after their baptisms. But I'm counting that as a miracle :) Also, we had a branch activity and this African girl came and is from Gauna. She only speaks english and we were able to teach her and give her a Book of Mormon. That night she called us and told us that one of her friends wants to come to conference tomorrow, she said, "but... she's a white chick and she's Russian." I couldn't help but crack up... Then after I hung up the phone I immediately got another call from someone. It was a man and he said that he found one of our church invitations and has a problem with alcohol and really wants to quit and wants to meet. Two calls in a row, back to back even! That was pretty cool :)

A lot of our investigators have stopped answering calls lately or coming to church... which is a bummer, always is. But man am I learning patience from it :)

Conference was great. During it I realized that I am trying to carry all my burdens on my own, without the Lord's help. What a big mistake. Last night when I was all out of energy like I frequently am on Sunday nights... I just stopped and prayed, and asked for strength. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to do much that night, but I know that every effort counts and that Christ's atonement will make up for the things that are impossible to me. Because all things ARE possible through him.

Love,

Sister Wilson 

Brooklyn mentioned Sister Carol F. McConkie, a member of the Young Women General Presidency in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The following is a quote from Sister McConkie's recent General Conference talk "Here to Serve a Righteous Cause":

"In the work of salvation, there is no room for comparison, criticism, or condemnation. It is not about age, experience, or public acclaim. This sacred work is about developing a broken heart, a contrite spirit, and a willingness to use our divine gifts and unique talents to do the Lord’s work in His way. It is having the humility to fall on our knees and say, 'O my Father, … not as I will, but as thou wilt.'


In the strength of the Lord, we 'can do all things.' We continually seek His guidance in prayer, in the scriptures, and in the whisperings of the Holy Ghost." 

Kazan Week 4 - "The Power of Testimonies"

August 31, 2015

All is well,

Oooooohhhhh what a week! It was a crazy one. Holy moly.

I'll just start from the very beginning of the week. On Monday we went to the Kremlin, it is BEAUTIFUL. I can't believe I live here still. It's a dream. This is my mission, and I get to live in this place because God is really merciful :) I was just in awe the whole time, and there is a wonderful street here where you can buy souvineers, probably the first place in my mission I've seen where there are actual souvineer shops. 

Monday night we had a little activity night with two potential investigators that have been coming to english group. After playing a few games we had a spiritual thought, which was actually just watching the short 20 minute Restoration movie.... At the end of the video I stood up to turn it off, then turned around and sat back down and just began to testify. I said that maybe this seems all very far fetched, that maybe Joseph Smith was hallucinating... that maybe this is madness... but I know its not. And I only know that because I asked God. I prayed about it. I asked the source of all truth. They got really quiet at that point especially as others also began to testify. Their hearts really softened and they even began to ask questions and one of them said that maybe its not a coinsidence that they have ended up sitting in this church building. 

Saturday... was interesting. I got separated from my companion for the first time on my mission. We were trying to catch the Metro, which had already pulled into the station while we were walking down the stairs, but we both hesitated to get on right away, so the next thing I know, my companion is on one side of the glass doors and I'm on the other. Sister Nielson's eyes got real big and we both tried to say something with our hands but it didn't work out too well. The next second the Metro swiftly pulls away and I'm left all alone. Hmmm... that's not good. So I called the APs, which I had to leave the metro to do so... and that resulted in me missing the next few metros. In short, my companion and I were separated for an hour and a half somehow, and we ended up meeting back up at our apartment. (really interesting walking the streets of Kazan alone.. I'm pretty sure I'll never do that again) She had already been waiting at the apartment for a little bit when I got there and saw me coming, ran out the door and gave me a big hug :)  

On Tuesday.... Sister Twede and Sister Hullinger came in from Toliatti to do splits with us! WHOOO. Man I love splits. This week with Sister Twede we were able to receive 4 phone numbers and give out 7 Books of Mormon in one day. Sister Twede is so so good at setting and reaching goals, and by following the spirit we actually surpassed our goals. She is a very personal and diligent missionary and a really good friend to everyone she serves with. I have really come to love her in the past year :) also everytime I'm on splits with her we always have crepes... it's the best.  

While working with Sister Hullinger we didn't meet as many goals, but other things were improved on. She really felt more independant and confident talking to people. While on the bus I turned to her and said, "wanna try something scary?" She looked at me hesitantly and said, "what?" I smiled and replied, "bus contacting!" (this was the first bus she had ever been on) She smiled right back at me and said, "okay!" And got up off her seat and sat by a girl sitting in front of me. She immediately started a conversation and gave the girl a Book of Mormon. Then when the girl left, another woman came and sat next to Sister Hullinger and she just starts another conversation and gives this other woman a Book of Mormon. Two people in a row! I was sitting just with my mouth wide open. She's only been out 4 weeks! What a brave and faithful young missionary! She felt so good after that and was just beaming. So was I :) It really inspired me to step up my game. 

We had a lesson with one of our investigators, L this week. She gets really hung up on deep doctrine so it's hard to have lessons with her. This time we were talking about faith in Christ and she got hung up on the words, "Christ is the only begotten of the father in THE FLESH." For some reason in the flesh really got to her. Try explaining what that means in english... now try to explain it in Russian. 

We met with her another night also... and she often invites her friend, E, who is SO distracting on lessons and makes the most ridiculous comments like, "does anyone here know how to swim?" that was about the 3rd dumb comment he had made that night so I asked him to leave, and then told him to leave. The lesson just went downhill from there.... our member and L just got into a cat fight about how she thinks our church is better than everyone else (when really all she said was that no other churchs have priesthood). That lesson was going down in history as one of the top three I've had on my mission. While they were arguing I noticed my companion who had been quiet the whole lesson and just had the most concerned look on her face. I looked at her and said, "can you please testify right now?" We were able to get L and the member to quiet down and then Sister Nielson, 4 weeks in the field, gave the most beautiful testimony in broken Russian about the truth of the Book of Mormon, the church, and Joseph Smith. The Spirit immediately filled the room. L quietly said, "there's really something different about you missionaries huh...? not everything she said was understandable, but I felt the Spirit from her clean heart." That's the power of a testimony from a new missionary. 

Honestly this was a really hard week. I don't know why exactly. Missions are just kinda like that :) The desire to share the gospel is always there, I can say that honestly. But sometimes the motivation really takes a nosedive. I ended up giving a call to Sister Schwab, the mission president's wife, who admitted that sometimes she gets burnt out too, and that's okay. That's when she says (in prayer) "Christ... I want to do this, I really do. But I can't right now. Can you do it for me?" But here's the catch, no. He can't do it for us. But he can do it WITH us :) I know that he can do it with us. I am coming to the end, and I am training and I am STL, but I feel weaker in other ways than I have ever felt before! I am just taking it one day at a time and trying to finish like a good soldier. 

"For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. "

Matthew 11:30

“You come unto Christ to be yoked with Him and with His power, so that you’re not pulling life’s load alone. You’re pulling life’s load yoked with the Savior and Redeemer of the world, and suddenly your problems, no matter how serious they are, become lighter." Elder Russell M. Nelson “The Mission and Ministry of the Savior,” Ensign, June 2005

Wish me luck this week, and more sunshine :)

Loooove, Sister Wilson!!! 

Bezi - Week 9 - "Choose to Believe"

July 15, 2015

All is well!  

This is probably the longest letter I have and ever will write... so bear with me :) 

This week flew by. We had exchanges with the sisters in Avrora and it was so so fun :) I love going on splits to wherever sister Twede is because we always live like kings when we are with her. Every morning we were there we had crepes because her companion used to work in a crepe shop. We even had buttermilk syrup and nutella with bananas, just like we used to do at home! I really miss dad's breakfast foods. I really learned a lot from working with these wonderful sisters and it honestly just felt really good to get out of my area for a bit (I can't imagine how Sis. Sotnikova feels, she's been in this area since October!). 

It's been really fun speaking with my companion in english this week. Her vocabulary is still small so she uses the words that she already knows, so she says things like, "It's my turn to give the dishes a shower." She also always says, "amathing" instead of "amazing." It's so funny to hear a 28 year old woman talk like that :) I really love working with her. 

This week the Zone Leaders also asked Sister Sotnikova and I (she is the STL) to do a presentation on how to have more joy while contacting (the area presidency has asked that we spend a minimum of 3 hours contacting every day). We decided to concentrate on having happiness in the companionship, because honestly how fun is it to contact when your companion isn't happy. Sis Sotnikova was sooo so nervous all week and especially in the beginning, but after a few minutes the Spirit really took over and everything went great :) 

After training we had interviews with President Schwab. That man is a tank of knowledge. I also did some translating for Sister Sotnikova during the training and every single time President Schwab opened his mouth it would get very difficult to translate because the Spirit works through him so strongly, it was distracting haha :) I admitted to him that I have been experiencing feelings of hopelessness lately. I guess you could say that even though I've been on a mission for 14 months I still don't quite understand hope and faith. Our area has really been struggling and I haven't seen many consistent lessons or investigators since the day I've come here. I see a miracle like meeting someone wonderful and being sure that they will be baptized, and it turns out that we only meet with them once, and after that they fall off the face of the earth. 

First of all, he reminded me that faith is not based on past, present, or future statistics, faith in based on Jesus Christ. President Schwab then reminded me that the results to our faith can be affected by 3 things. First, insufficient faith. Second, the Lord's timing. And third, agency of others. Three thirds of our brothers and sisters chose Satan's plan, but that doesn't mean that God didn't have sufficient faith, it means that he respects our agency. That knowledge really brought me comfort. 

Usually I don't include passages from conference talks.... and usually whenever other people include such passages I skip over them (oops) but our mission president has asked us to read this talk and doing so helped me to better understand what exercising faith looks like and how the Savior acts as a light in my own life. It is called "Choosing to Believe" by Whitney L. Clayton. 

"Every day each of us faces a test. It is the test of our lifetimes: will we choose to believe in Him and allow the light of His gospel to grow within us, or will we refuse to believe and insist on traveling alone in the dark? Belief and testimony and faith are not passive principles. They do not just happen to us. Belief is something we choose—we hope for it, we work for it, and we sacrifice for it. We will not accidentally come to believe in the Savior and His gospel any more than we will accidentally pray or pay tithing. We actively choose to believe, just like we choose to keep other commandments."

Something else that I reeeeally really loved was from general conference one year ago from "Claim the Blessings of your Covenants" by Linda. S. Reeves. 

"Almost three years ago a devastating fire gutted the interior of the beloved, historic tabernacle in Provo, Utah. Its loss was deemed a great tragedy by both the community and Church members. Many wondered, “Why did the Lord let this happen? Surely He could have prevented the fire or stopped its destruction. 

Ten months later, during the October 2011 general conference, there was an audible gasp when President Thomas S. Monson announced that the nearly destroyed tabernacle was to become a holy temple—a house of the Lord! Suddenly we could see what the Lord had always known! He didn’t cause the fire, but He allowed the fire to strip away the interior. He saw the tabernacle as a magnificent temple—a permanent home for making sacred, eternal covenants. 

My dear sisters, the Lord allows us to be tried and tested, sometimes to our maximum capacity. We have seen the lives of loved ones—and maybe our own—figuratively burned to the ground and have wondered why a loving and caring Heavenly Father would allow such things to happen. But He does not leave us in the ashes; He stands with open arms, eagerly inviting us to come to Him. He is building our lives into magnificent temples where His Spirit can dwell eternally. 

In Doctrine and Covenants 58:3–4, the Lord tells us: 

'Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation. 

For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory.' 

The Lord has a plan for each of our lives. Nothing that happens is a shock or a surprise to Him. He is all-knowing and all-loving. He is eager to help us, to comfort us, and to ease our pain as we rely on the power of the Atonement and honor our covenants. The trials and tribulation that we experience may be the very things that guide us to come unto Him and cling to our covenants so that we might return to His presence and receive all that the Father hath."

I really don't understand God's plan. Almost 100% of the time I don't understand why things are going "wrong" until after the trial is over and I see that actually everything was going right, because it was exactly what God wanted for me. I am so grateful for hard times. I am grateful for this hard mission. Just like the pioneers, who experienced starvation, disease, and death... I wouldn't trade my hard times for good times, because during those times are the times that I come to know my Loving Heavenly Father. 

Love, 

Sister Wilson 

Bezi - Week 6 - "Transfers"

June 22, 2015

Bezi branch meeting house
tucked behind all those beautiful trees

All is well :) 

We got transfers this weekend and it was one of the first times on my entire mission that I wasn't extremely nervous to know where I would be going. I had a feeling that I would probably be here with Sister Sotnikova another cycle, and we were right :) However.... there is a catch. I am going to be in a trio. Sister Twede is supposed to be training this cycle, but her trainee didn't get her visa, so Sister Twede will be with us until her trainee comes. I've never been in a trio, and honestly I kind of felt like Joseph Smith when he found out that he needed to practice pologamy. It seems like it would be so hard to share your love with another person! However my companion has been in a trio a couple times, and she says that its like having children... you love all of them sooo much, just in different ways because they are all different :) Sister Twede and I knew each other before the mission and she is SUPER humble and creative and I'm not afraid of her at all, it's the word trio that scares me. I am sure she probably felt the same when she heard she'd be in a trio! But the next morning when I woke up I just felt peace and I have a feeling that I'm going to learn a lot about compromising opinions (between 3 people now) and that this cycle is actually going to be a blast. I'm so excited to be learning from another missionary! 

Sister Sotnikova really helped me with my accent this week. It seems to me that an accent isn't about learning how to speak like a Russian, but learning how to speak every single word correctly. We were reading together and she'd pick out about 5 words that I needed to work on. It's so weird because a lot of the time I can't even hear the difference when she tells me the correct and incorrect way to say a word.  

Of course we're praying for miracles. And we've gotten a lot more specific in the miracles that we are seeking. Last week the morning started out real tough. I had the biggest black cloud over my head. I felt that I couldn't do the work because I knew that the Spirit wasn't with me. So I asked that we sit down a moment and I prayed until I felt the Spirit return to me, and the Spirit returned to me when I remembered that we need to always look to Christ. But anyway Heavenly Father is so wise, he totally knew that Sister Wilson was going to take a minute and sit on a bench and pray and he planned a miracle into our day. About 30 minutes later we ran into a member who was on his way somewhere. We stopped him and talked a minute, and then before departing my brilliant companion asked for a referral. This member gave us TWENTY referrals. He went through his phone with us and picked out people that he thought were good candidates, these people are spiritual and he has talked to them about us. What's cool is that one of those people came to english and showed great interest in the Book of Mormon and has now become an investigator. 

Another miracle, I called Sister Martinez this week to ask for some numbers of new converts to call in their area and she told me that N, one of the people that we stopped on the street last cycle, was baptized. Which is super interesting. I vividly remember that day. I had thee worst mood ever, and we were hurrying to a lot of lessons and I remember that we only contacted like 5 people that day. Well, N is one of them. And now she's a member :) so that's cool. 

Our area isn't doing so hot right now. We had about 4 member present lessons this week. My friend told me that in Mexico last week they got 13 new investigators in one week. That would be a HUGE miracle if that happened here during the period of a 6 week cycle. We've been doing a whole lot of contacting, my feet are always killing me by the end of the day, but it's a good kind of pain :) 

The other night while I was praying I realized that my urgency to obedience could still be stronger. I also came to the realization that, you know what? Obedience is not something that only applies to a mission. I will not only have to be obedience to rules that I don't understand on a mission, but I will have to submit myself to commands or promptings from God later down the road. When my child wants to go out with friends and the Spirit compels me to say no, I must say no. I must be obedient. I am praying for that desire and urgency to not slacken or loosen up on obedience. Sometimes it just seems like things would be easier by trying to get around the rules. But that is the way that Satan works. He is the father of all lies. He is the great deciever. He has no power to fulfil his promises the way that God can. 

With Love,

Sister Wilson 

Week One From Brooklyn - at the Provo MTC - May 28, 2014

May 28, 2014

All is well,

(also I will not be capitalizing in my letters, it just takes longer and I don't have time)

I will start with my last day in Pleasant Grove. It was such a lovely and sacred time last few hours with my family. Driving past that G mountain I felt my heart swell and I appreciated the beautiful mountain more than I ever had in my life.

When I got to the MTC guess who I saw within the first 5 minutes? Sister Twede! She is an angel. Her Russian is amaaazing, and her accent is just lovely. (Note from Brooklyn's Dad- Sister Twede is a sister Brooklyn met on facebook then in person a couple of weeks before she went into the MTC, even went to her farewell. )

The first night in the MTC... I was slightly disapointed to hear that no body goes to bed at 10:30. I actually hated that, because I wanted to hear that everyone is just 100% obedient. I went to bed at 11:30 my first night just thinking it was normal to do so... no, no no no! Haha good thing there is such thing as repentance :) There is a boy in my district who says he promised the Lord 110% and I'd like the promise him the same thing.

Let me tell you a little bit about my district, my companion, and my teachers. 

My companion is Sis Palmer, a little bit about her... She is a genius. She knows the gosepl SOOO well. (that's not much info I know, sorry) I knew half of my district before the mission, and we all get along very well. The second day at the MTC I decided to dump my food all over myself went I went to sit down at the table, so that was good. And the third day Sis Palmer somehow felt backward in her chair and just legs went right over her head, garments and all. 

My teachers.... So there is Sister Jackson, Tanner was actually her first Zone Leader, she served in Yekaterinburg, and I am slightly convinced that she hates me :):):) One of my other teachers is Sister Wrigley. She starts with personal interviews with each missionary so she pulled me out into the hallway and just asked me a few questions. I told her about my family, my reasons to serve, and then she asked if it was okay if I could share something that has happened in my life to make my testimony grow. Also, she taught Elder Graf and said he is one of best missionaries she's ever seen come through the MTC in her 2 and half years teaching there! Elder Graf has prepared so many friends for me, and doesn't even know it :) 

A little bit about my language here.... I was sooo so blessed to have taken 1 year of Russian before coming out here. I can speak freely with my teachers and with the 7 or 8 week missionaries. Actually the other day in class another teacher popped her head in while Sis Wrigly was teaching us and the other teacher was speaking in Russian to sister Wrigley, She said, "how's your class doing so far, how's their language?" And Sis Wrigley just kinda smiled and said, "well... uhmm...." I got a disapproving look and my face and called her out on that hahaha. They finished their conversation in the hallway. Me and one other boy in my class are having private lessons with another teacher because I am already to page 86 in the blue board book, and am not learning anything in class. Otherwise I am going to fall into complacency right from the beginning. They might even send us out after we've been here 3 weeks. All the teachers are going to get together tomorrow to talk and pray about us and see if we can get sent out early.

One thing that really humbled me was the other night when I was talking to another sister. She reminded me that although Elder Nally and I know a lot of Russian we should never try to be better than anyone else, because Christ will always be best, he's always number one. 

My favorite day at the MTC so far was Monday. I speak Russian very well when I look at the people around me.... I speak as fluently or more fluently than the 7 or 8 week missionaries...  but during Monday's lesson I could not speak a lick of Russian, since I've been here I've been able to speak as freely as I want, but on Monday it was like all the Russian I had ever learned was cleared from my mind. I couldn't say anything I wanted to, and the part that makes it all a little more difficult even is that I feel like everything relies on me, because my companion doesn't know how to speak yet. There is so little unity in our lessons. I walked out of that room feeling like we accomplished nothing. I just started crying. We went on a walk to calm me and I said a sincere prayer but I still felt so alone. I felt like... because the spirit was not in the lesson I was unworthy to have him with me. That was just such a dark thought to me. I just felt horrible and I didn't know how to make it leave. I'd always heard if you don't have the spirit you cannot teach, I didn't think I'd experience it first hand. It was so very humbling, here I am, Sister Wilson-- who CAN speak Russian and it was like God put a little fog over my brain so I couldn't even tap into my language. It was time to start preparing our lessons and I had no motivation, and I STILL could not start thinking in Russian again. it just made me feel worse. Then some of the other sisters came into our room and spoke to me, they were so uplifting and understanding. They started speaking to me in Russian and slowly but surely my language began to return..... Ohhhh it felt sooo good. I take the knowledge I have for granted sometimes. But I realized the mistake I had made was this: I can ONLY speak Russian if it comes from my heart. If I start reading off a page I lose my train of thought and can't speak anymore. God wants me to speak what's in my heart. (I also think he did it so i would know how frustrating it is not to be able to speak Russian). That was a turning point in my mission.

Last night we have a devotional with Russel M. Nelson and afterward had a district devotional, those times with your district are seriously bonding. As missionaries there will not be a day where someone is not praying for the missionaries. DON'T let those prayers be in vain. Right now we are on the front lines of the most elite army on earth, Lucifer's army has never been more powerful, but neither has God's. Right now we are to give up our lesser selves and submit... the only part you are giving up is your ego. God will replace that lesser self with the girl God was preparing me to become even before my mortal life.

A mission is NOT what I thought it would be. It ALL depends on you. You don't walk into the MTC and put a badge on and you are suddenly a different person. You have to choose how you are going to be, and you CANNOT do it without Christ.

I am grateful to be a missionary. 
Love you all,

Sister Wilson 

(For those of your serving missions and who will be learning a language:
START STUDYING PMG RIGHT NOW.
I can't stress that enough. You have ZERO time to study it in the MTC)