LAST Week from Brooklyn - at the Provo MTC - July 20, 2014

All is well,

First off something that happened yesterday.... during the devotional Sister Marquis and I were sitting next to each other in the choir. Anyway my pen wasn't working so Sister Marquis told me if I suck on it then ink should start flowing again. I didn't really think it would work, so I sucked, and then sucked again... and surprising got a really interesting taste in my mouth. I made a sour face at sister Marquis and she just cupped her hand to her mouth and started laughing. Apparently I sucked too hard, because I had black ink ALL OVER in my mouth. I had her take a pic so I could see and my tongue was completely black. I looked like a pirate or an old woman with disgusting rotting teeth. It wasn't super easy to get out either, I didn't end up getting it all out til I brushed my teeth that night. I would turn around during the opening hymn and just smile at people super big with the most disgusting black teeth and would get some pretty concerned and sorry looking smiles back at me. We joked about how embarrassing it would be if the cameras zoomed in on me and showed on the jumbotron while we were singing in the choir. Just some poor sister with gingivitis. Sister Marquis is going to Rostov, and is super fun to talk to because she went to high school with me and we hung out with a similar group of friends, but were never friends ourselves. Too bad! Because she is a champion. I love her to death. 

Anyyyyway! This week we have planned for a week of miracles. Sister Palmer and I have come up with sacrifices that we are going to make every day until we leave that will help us to be better missionaries. I saw my first miracle on Sunday!

In case you didn't know, I am absolutely terrified of playing piano in front of people... like if I am practicing and somebody walks into the room I start messing up because I get so nervous. Well, Elder Young asked me at the beginning of last week if I could maybe play a solo musical number on Sunday. I told him I'd practice a song, see if it was good enough, and then get back to him. Well... I never found time to practice cause we've just been so busy, and so two days before Sunday he says to me,"you're still playing on Sunday, right?" .....right??? I never said I was going to! But I took courage, put a dumb smile on my face, and said, "yeah I can do it!" 

So Sunday rolls around I am just praying so fervently to my Heavenly Father. I told him that I am definitely NOT playing this song for my own glory, I am playing to help others feel the spirit, and I can't do that if I'm messing up the song the whole time. I KNOW you can help me with this and make it perfect. I kept getting reassurances like, sharing talents will increase them, and have faith have faith have faith! I walked up to the piano, hands shaking, and silently praying I'd somehow manage to play despite my nervous state. As I sat down the music flowed through my fingers so naturally, and I took courage! I concentrated everything I had into that song. And the parts where my mind went black? Heavenly Father filled it with other notes that made it nearly impossible to recognize the mistakes. I asked for perfection, and what does he do? Because of course I am not perfect, he makes up for my imperfections, he provided another way to accomplish the task in an even more beautiful way than my way... his way.

That's how I want to do my missionary work ALL the time. I want to concentrate all of my efforts into this, I want to rely on Him fully. Because like I witnessed while playing the piano... I didn't fail, because not once did I doubt him while I was playing, otherwise I would have failed. His abilities are far greater than mine. God is the master piano teacher, he is the master Russian teacher, He is our Heavenly Father and the greatest teacher of all. 

I can't believe that I can count on one hand how many days I have left in America. I am so in love with the MTC, I feel like this place is my home. I loooove my district, they all have such character and the most different personalities which always keeps things interesting. But I also can't stay here another week or I am probably going to lose my mind :) Samara needs me, for some reason or another... so Russia, here I come!

Love, 

Sister Wilson

Week Seven from Brooklyn - at the Provo MTC - July 12, 2014

Be still my soul, The Lord is on thy side

All is well,

Okay first of all I just want to ask a huuuge favor of anyone who gets emails from me. Unfortunately here at the MTC we can't get on google... I was just wondering if anyone who has been on a mission would be willing to send me some of their favorite lesson outlines that answer questions that investigators might have really well. Scripture evidence is really important too. For the restoration (the 1st lesson) or the plan of salvation (2nd lesson) it would be so so so appreciated. I wish I had more time to study all of it but we only have about an hour or two for it every day. Which really is not enough.... also some ideas for approaches that help people to open up to you, "we are missionaries from the church of Jesus Christ" type of things. I would appreciate any input I can get. Mom, will you make sure Cole and Ryan do this for me? That's your assignment;)

The weeks are starting to slow down a little bit here. I am just looking forward to getting out to Russia. I am just striving to keep my head above the water with this complacency thing... heaven help me. Missionary work is hard, not in that BEING here is hard itself, it is hard to truly and consciously put forth your very best efforts every day. Any advice for that? I want to give him my all, I have that desire! But then I am a weak human being who forgets to practice with consistency throughout the day.

I just realized that all my friends are home from their missions.... Cole, Ryan, David. and Lydia comes home sooo soon! Part of me is a little jealous of that but I am happy to be here. I need to grow, and the mission is going to help that growth happen a little faster. But will someone get them to write me? I want to hear what it's like being home! 

The Elders and Sisters above us just left, and so now we are the oldest here. But we had to wake up at 3:30 in the morning to be with one of the sisters whose companion was leaving earlier than her. Walking through the MTC in the middle of the night with suit cases... really made me feel like a missionary, like that's what it'd be like, moving from place to place. Also it made me a little nervous and aware of how soon our departure will be. I am leaving in less that 2 weeks! I only have one more P-day here. We get our flight plans in two days... so on Friday. (I am secretly hoping our visas haven't gone through and we get to go to Iowa or something). 

On the 4th of July we got to watch 17 miracles and then the fireworks from the stadium of fire. It was supposed to be a "surprise" but every person knows that the missionaries get to do that hahaha. Not much of a surprise;) Mom, I will send home my MTC journal and you can read more about that later. 

So yesterday night we got to listen to our apostle Neil A. Anderson for the MTC devotional. When we took our seats I just kind of had a head ache and wasn't feeling so much like myself... but before he spoke it was announced that the choir would be singing, "Be Still My Soul," and I knew I was done for. The feeling of numbness, the shield that I had put up to defend and conceal my heart was lowered; and I surrendered to the spirit as I listened to the words. "Be still my soul: Thy God doth undertake to guide the future as he has the past." I felt the majesty of God flood through that room, I knew he was speaking to each missionary... not to worry, not to doubt, not to be discouraged with short-comings, but to be still and know that he is God. "Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake." 

I know that God knows me. I forget that I can't do this work on my own, and then suddenly my heart is hardened. But God is so smart, wants me to feel of his majesty, of what I can do with his power, and I am entitled to it! It's not that I'm choosing NOT to use it, but sometimes I just forget to use it. He uses the spirit as a gracious reminder.

I walked out of the devotional feeling so happy. I just smiled dumbly and walked around the MTC campus thinking to myself, "I am in love." with this place, with all these people, with my God. I'm in love with my mission. And that is that.

Love, Sister Wilson

1. 
   
   1. Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
   With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
   Leave to thy God to order and provide;
   In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
   Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend
   Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
2. 2. Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
   To guide the future as he has the past.
   Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
   All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
   Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
   His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.
3. 3. Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on
   When we shall be forever with the Lord,
   When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
   Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
   Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
   All safe and blessed we shall meet at last

Week Six from Brooklyn - at the Provo MTC - July 3, 2014

All is well,

This week Brother Mckay came in to the classroom to teach us, wrote two words on the whiteboard, told us to translate them, and then walked out saying he'd be back briefly. "ded moroze" (how it sounds in English) I translated the last word, which translated to "frost" then as an Elder translated the first word I heard him say, "Grandfather...?" Ded moroze=grandfather frost. SAAAANTA!!!! We were all jumping for joy when Brother Mckay returned. We all knew what he had: our RUssian nametags! Okay it might sound lame... but MTC nametags are in English, so seeing my name in Russian on that nametag, really was like Christmas haha:)

Something that I thought was really quite humorous this week... I was sitting by an elder in my zone at lunch who said that sometimes they couldn't fall asleep at night because an elder who lives above them would play his Ocarina... as in the Ocarina of time from Zelda. I guess that make little flute thingies that resemble it? I thought that was funny, but then I asked who was playing it and they said, "Elder Tonn," .....as in the elder that Elder Graf is training right now. I just about died laughing after hearing that. Holy cow. 

Also on Thursday, I was returning from PE (why do I call it that?) and waiting outside to cross back to the MTC on the crosswalk. I heard a car honk at me and behold... my brother Tanner and his darling young wife, looking at me with jaws dropped. HA! Feels like I said goodbye only 5 days ago! They were stopped at the light while everyone was crossing the street. I was so happy! I jumped up and down and said, "Hiiiiii!!!!" I was crossing the street so I couldn't really talk to him. But I was just so happy to see him. 10 seconds later after I finished crossing the street my stomach dropped. WHY didn't I stop and talk to him?! I totally could have! I just for some reason felt like I had to keep walking. Ugh I'm so mad at myself! Oh well, I guess it just wasn't meant to be haha :) but I was a little frustrated with myself when I realized that I could have because he was just stopped at the light.

Sunday, the second counselor of the Young Women's Presidency spoke to us. She said something that really made the hairs on my neck stand up. Actually a lot of things have been making the hairs on my neck stand up considering I am leaving so soon... I feel like I've been stuck in week 2 forever. MTC time cannot be explained, only experienced :) Anyway. She said, "your heart is changed when you give it away, you cannot white knuckle your way to a changed heart. Ease up. Trust God." UGH. I am trying to do that right now but it is just not as easy as it sounds. There is a part inside of us that is really afraid of trusting anyone but ourselves.

I have a friend who has been out in the mission field for about a year now, and he says he is just now realizing that he hasn't been trusting God. I really don't want to come to that same conclusion after I've been out for sometime... realizing that I've been doing all of this work alone when I could have been doing it with the help of God. I don't want to be holding onto my heart with white knuckles while Christ is patiently waiting for me to give it to him. It's just like that scripture... D&C 103: 27 "Let no man be afraid to lay down his life for my sake; for whoso layeth down his life for my sake shall find it again." 

When I lose myself, when I realize my weaknesses and buckle to my knees is when God is most ready to help. Christ can help us build our strongest towers when we start with him at rock bottom. He loves starting from scratch because then he can build us up in his way, with no faulty foundations leftover from our ways.

God knows every single hair on our heads, not even a sparrow drops to the ground without him knowing. I promise he knows us, better than your parents know you. Better than your wife or your husband know you. Because he knows us perfectly he can help us to make decisions that will make YOU happy. The choice that makes one person happy won't necessarily make you happy, ask God before you follow anyone else. He won't lead you astray. Promise. 

Be good :)

--Sister Wilson

Week Five from Brooklyn - at the Provo MTC - June 25, 2014

All is well,

 Well this week I walk into the classroom for who we're teaching and it's Sasha. Remember Sasha from last week? I saw him at TRC and he was just this fireball convert? When we walked in the room he just about crushed my hand when shaking it. Sis Palmer and I asked for a prayer and Sasha offered it. The spirit just enveloped the room, I could only catch about 50% of what he said because he's a native... but it was so sincere. As we shared our thought with him and our scripture with him his face just got beat red and he threw his hands up in the air as if the heavens were opening. I was so scared and confused. He said he's read that scripture about 15 times in his life and he's never understood it until now. Why now? don't know. But it was so cool to see his understanding opened. On our feedback report he said, "it's experiences like THIS that bring me back to TRC every single week." Sasha looks so scary and intimidating but he's really just a big teddy bear :)

On Monday we had to go down the the travel office to resign our visa papers... but apparently this happens to most missionaries. So I am not too worried. Just pray we'll get them on time.

Thursday night President Bennett came to see the Russian Elders and Sisters. When we found out everyone started panicking and all the Elders went and changed into suites. We've all heard scary stories about him. But actually meeting him... gosh I hate preconceived notions about people. He is such a kind man, he just cares a lot about obedience. Which is SO good. Because without obedience there are no miracles, and we really need miracles in Russia :)

Sister Palmer really cracks me up sometimes.... Today as a class we watched two of the elders give a lesson to an investigator. Sister Palmer was trying to tell me something in the middle of them teaching, but I didn't want to interrupt them so I told her to write it down on a note. Here's what it said, "Elder Young is writing his pen and it is squeaking at a horrible pitch and it is giving me a headache! Can you hear it too?" I listened for the squeaking and then started laughing so hard... I have no idea how she even heard it. You'd have to have mice ears to hear it. Sister Palmer is so OCD, I get a really good kick out of it. For any movies we watch on the computer with our class, it has to be full screen and the mouse has to be out of the way (she makes sure it's like that everytime without fail) and any unstraight lines on the whiteboard are often corrected by her :) 

Sister Wilson with her district at the Provo LDS Temple

So all of the apostles are here at the MTC because of all the new mission presidents right? Well something kind of funny that happened this week was while my district and I were outside with our teacher (this is near the front of the MTC). On this day we saw a really nice car pulled up on the side of the sidewalk... meaning an apostle was about to come out (they park their cars close to the doors up on the sidewalk) and we saw MTC employees washing all of the windows of the door the apostle would be coming out of. I got a little laugh out of that. It's just amazing to me, these men get treated like celebrities, like kings! It just got me to thinking how ridiculous it even is that we have celebrities. People who are famous for beauty and riches. It's just flat out dumb. Who would be our "celebrities" if everyone were blind? Who would the beautiful people be then? I think the prophet and his apostles may be a little most favored by the world if everyone were blind. We are so set on the THINGS of the world rather than the GOOD we can do in the world. 

I am grateful for the spiritual thoughts and revelation I receive every day. God loves to show me how weak I am... THAT is definitely not easy. Once I feel like I am FINALLY getting it, I slip up again. Thank goodness for the atonement.

--Sister Wilson

Week Four from Brooklyn - at the Provo MTC - June 18, 2014

All is well,

 This week after our TRC lessons, Sister Palmer and I saw a man down the hall talking with our district. My face immediately lit up once I realized who is was. SASHA!!!! He is a Russian convert. I don't know if I've even told anyone about Sasha, but I met him when Sister Twede and I went up to the Russian branch in Salt Lake. He left a huge impression on me. So let me draw a visual image for you about him. Holy cow. That man... is thee most hardcore Russian man I've ever met. He is HUUUUGE, just tall and ripped and looks like he could break someone in half. Basically he looks like he'd play the perfect part in a movie for the leader of the Mafia.

He speaks amazing English with a thick, beautiful Russian accent. And when he talks you are always amazed with what profound things he says.  It is just amazing to me that HE is a convert. It just goes to show that God really does know his children, even the hardest looking, scariest looking Russian man is a child of God. It's just amazing to me.

As a missionary you talk to EVERYONE. Do not assume that someone does not want the gospel just because they look scary. Sasha is living evidence of that! After listening to Sasha speak to us
I just realized how much I love Russians, and I know 
God loves Russians. I'm so excited for Russia! 

During our lesson with Nastia this week (who is actually our teacher, sis jackson) Sister Palmer had a prompting in the middle of our lesson to stop and pray. We asked Nastia to say it, and while she prayed in her beautiful Russian she began to cry. It's amazing to know we are teaching with the spirit so strongly that even our teachers, as REAL people, are touched. I don't exactly get along with Sister Jackson but as I have taught her as an investigator I have felt my love grow for her more, it's really actually interesting... I don't get along with her as a teacher, but I get along with her as Nastia. There's something wrong there haha:)

Oh! Something cool... There's a teacher here named Brother Parsons. He is a champion, and he served in Yekaterinburg and said that he heard lots about my brother and went into his same areas and found people he taught in the area book.

Also an Elder in our district got a concussion this week... because someone was tickling him and he ended up throwing his head back into a wall while being tickled.

This week for the devotional Elder Ballard spoke to us. After the devotional we gathered together as a district for our own little district devotional. I was very distracted during Elder Ballard's talk and afterward in our meeting. I have realized that my will has not been aligned with God's will. That is not good as a missionary :) As I realized this it troubled my mind greatly. Everyone else in my district had shared their thoughts/testimonies except for me. I said a small prayer asking for God's help, but I felt that the spirit was absent. I looked at 2 lines from my notes and just decided to talk about that because I was not feeling inspired about anything in the least.

As I stood the speak the most marvelous thing happened... my mouth was filled. I was suddenly given thoughts and words and was able to bear one of the strongest and most honest testimonies that I ever have in my life. I spoke about how missionary work is SO important to Christ because not only are these people OUR brothers and sisters, but they are HIS too. He knows us better than we do, he has felt our pains, he remembers each of us from the pre-mortal life. But there is also another brother we have... who also remembers us from the pre-mortal life, and because he knows us so well he is able to use our weaknesses against us. And although I don't understand everything about the atonement... I know that it works. I have seen people's lives changed because of it. Returned missionaries are the #1 example in my opinion. Some of them go out into the field as punks, and they return as some of the most valiant men I've ever seen. They could not do that on their own. The atonement changed them, and I know it can change us. As I spoke I even got a little bit emotional, and that just doesn't happen to me when I'm bearing my testimony! It just felt so good, it felt so real and sincere coming from myself. I didn't say anything I didn't know or anything I didn't mean. It was all honest. It was all truth. Bearing that testimony gave me the witness that God is proud of me, that he wants me to stop worrying so much... and that he will not abandon me. Even when I don't feel worthy of his help.

As I laid in bed that night I just felt God's love for me, I felt peace, I am feeling the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. And the fact that I can recognize that is so humbling to me. I love missionary work, I feel like I am in heaven here in the MTC. 

Til next week.

-Sister Wilson

• It shall be given thee in the very moment what thou shalt speak or write:D&C 24:6; ( D&C 84:85; )

• The Holy Ghost will teach you all things and bring all things to your remembrance:John 14:26;
• The voice of the Lord came into my mind:Enos 1:10;
• Everything which inviteth and enticeth to do good is inspired of God:Moro. 7:13–16;
• I will tell you in your mind and in your heart:D&C 8:2;
• My Spirit shall enlighten your mind, which shall fill your soul with joy:D&C 11:13;
• 
  

Week Three from Brooklyn - at the Provo MTC - June 11, 2014

June 11, 2014

All is well,

The weeks are finally starting to blend together. It's not so crazy anymore trying to get into the fit of things, I think I finally got it down. This week flew by... I can't even believe it. But then again at night time I try to think of what I did that morning and it feels like 2 days ago. 

12 of our Russian missionaries left on Monday. That means there are only 18 total in the MTC, but next week we get 40+ new Russian missionaries, it's going to be psycho. There are only 6 people in my district which is tiny, usually its double that. Since there are so few missionaries here we all get to become such good friends, it's cool to think that I know whoever Elder Graf is training right now. I have my fingers crossed for a few I know he'd love. 

Okay... so maybe a little bit about my companion. She is very much like me, she likes things done her way. We really aren't all that interested in each other's lives but we really do love each other (that is so bad huh? we're working on it). She loves to sing whatever she says. She always says, "great" in a Scottish accent. She loves to eat desserts here :) She always eats all of her food even if she doesn't like what she's eating hahaha. Our styles are NOTHING alike. She likes to walk in the shade while I step into any ray of sunlight I can find... there are always roofs over our heads and I really miss the sun (I'm sure I won't feel that way when I get to Russia). She is also very technical, like for instance today I mentioned that Samara is about a 12 hour time difference and she didn't hesitate for a second to correct me that it is actually 11 hours hahahaha ah... If she could describe herself in 3 words it would be: graceful, charismatic, and poised. She's really humble :) I've never heard her fart or burp so I guess that's true. 

On Sunday we gave a district lesson about repentance. Our district reeeeally struggles with concentrating during our 3 hours of personal, companionship, and language study. So Sis Palmer and I focused on that because we need to repent of that. I can actually study really well with people talking around me, so it hasn't been too much of a problem for me, but of course I can use some improvement too. We read the class a few interesting facts saying that if they waste 5 minutes of personal study every time then they will waste a total of 35 hours of study time here in the MTC. Yikes.... we really drove it home that our study time is actually not even for ourselves. It's not for Sis Wilson to learn more about the gospel, it's not for Sis Palmer to learn more Russian. It's for the people in Russia. Everything we do should be for them, and if we waste that time then what are we even on a mission for? 

A little bit about the language.... I love Russian. I can't get enough of it. When our teach Sis Wrigley speaks to us in Russian all I can think is that she sounds like an angel. Russian is beeeeautiful. However, I have learned Russian MY way. I have not yet figured out how the Lord would have me learn Russian. We are supposed to start from scratch in everything we know (rock bottom if you would) it's unique to every person learning the way that the Lord would have your learn. So my struggle is that I need to know HOW God wants me to learn Russian. All I know is the way that Brooklyn knows how. Also I can understand my teachers like a champ (this has been my biggest blessing), but at TRC, where we teach Russian speakers from outside of the MTC, last week we taught 2 natives speakers and it was basically like playing charades for 20 minutes :):):)

The most influential part of my week was definitely listening to "the Character of Christ" by Elder Bednar. Everyone's heard of that talk... but holy cow, it really changes your life. I have never seen Elder Bednar speak with such passion, he actually reminded me a little bit of Elder Holland with how bold and direct his message was. His main emphasis was about how the natural man always turns inward and the character of Christ always turns outwardly. This turning outward turns testimony into conversion. Every person who is a member of the church has a testimony, but not all of us are converted. Conversion is when we have Christlike qualities that are both striking and consistent. Those two words really stuck out to me, "striking and consistent". Think about yourself for a moment. How consistent are you with patience and love and humility? How striking are those qualities in yourself? Christ was consistently patient, his love and sincerity were striking to people, even shocking! Every person you meet on the mission has the capability in their mind to remember you forever, whether they do or not depends on the impression you make with them. They will want to meet with us again; not because of what we say or do, but because of what they feel. 

I feel that I am finally beginning to see just how important this calling is. I think that sometimes we forget how urgent our message really is. However, we must realize that the salvation of every single human being depends upon it... and it can only be received by the means of the Holy Ghost. I am beginning to see how vitally important it is that I truly learn to understand that what I teach does not matter if the receiver doesn't feel anything. 

Yes, your mission is your own, but it is not about yourself. The greatest convert on your mission ought to be you, but that's not what will happen if that's what you're trying to do.

love you all, I'm glad I know my place right now :)

Sister Wilson

Week Two From Brooklyn - at the Provo MTC - June 4, 2014

June 4, 2014

All is well,

I am going to take entries directly out of my journal while I write to see if I can keep things more organized.

Thursday-

Sis Palmer got a migraine last night, poor girl. She's had chronic migraines the last 5 years apparently and that makes me nervous. She woke up with a bloody nose and was throwing up in the middle of the night. she's also been complaining about one of her teeth being sensitive to hot/cold...  but won't go to the dentist. I think the tooth ache plus learning psycho Russian triggered the migraine. We had to stay in our room until 12 so she could rest but I got some much needed personal study in thanks to that.

I have a goal to learn 1000 words before I leave the MTC, that means 19 words a day. God's going to help me:) I wish I could just pull a number out of my head of how many I already know!

Friday-

Something I learned today is that it is often very hard to be motivated during class to study. But If you really do personal study the right way you should never want it to end.

Brooklyn asked for us to edit out Saturdays' entry...

Sunday-

We were about to get started with district meeting and right as it started my branch president (pres Peer) pulled me out of the classroom and asked if we could talk for a minute, you have NO IDEA how scared i was. I timidly sat across from him in a classroom down the hall. He told me he sees something in me that he doesn't see in anyone else in our district, and that is drive. Somehow... he knows exactly all that I've been doing. That i am very focused when we have study time. She says i am leading by quiet example. He told me that he knows God is proud of me and that i am doing exactly what God wants me to be doing right now... that it is satisfactory to him. My heart was filled with joy at his words.

Also... I COMPLETED MY FIRST 24 HOUR FAST, and i wasn't even grumpy :):):)

Monday-

The Russian speaking missionaries... like to do "challenges." They're a little goofy. But one of them is the "jello challenge" to cut jello out of a cup, set it on a plate, exhale.... then inhale the jello in one bite. SO DUMB. But entertaining. Also I guess a few weeks back a Russian elder ate 30 bananas in one day. That one is called the "banana challenge" and no one has been able to get past 10 bananas.

Also at the end of the day a random sister came up to me and stopped me and said, "hi... I just needed to thank you for calling me out on my language the other day. I really needed to clean up my language, thanks for helping me to notice." At first I didn't even remember her, but 2 days ago a girl said "shiz" in the hall and i looked at her and said, "hey, watch your languge here. you shouldn't be saying things like that at the MTC" she said sorry and looked embarrassed. When she approached me I didn't even remember her, but I am glad I opened my mouth:) D&C 11:5-8

 5 Therefore, if you will ask of me you shall receive; if you willknock it shall be opened unto you.

 6 Now, as you have asked, behold, I say unto you, keep my commandments, and seek to bring forth and establish the cause ofZion.

 7 Seek not for riches but for wisdom; and, behold, the mysteries of God shall be unfolded unto you, and then shall you be maderich. Behold, he that hath eternal life is rich.

 8 Verily, verily, I say unto you, even as you desire of me so it shall be done unto you; and, if you desire, you shall be the means of doing much good in this generation.

Tuesday-

We had an amazing devotional by a man who served his mission in Yekaterinburg Russia. Afterward we had a district meeting and there were a few things that really touched my heart.

Christ told Peter, "After you are converted (implying that he was not yet converted), strengthen thy brethren." Even Peter, who had seen miracles, who had WALKED with Christ, was not converted. Just like Laman and Lemuel after they saw an angel, continued to question God's power. Conversion does not happen by seeing miracles. That is why FAITH is so important, it is a hope for things NOT SEEN. Conversion takes place by developing faith in our hearts that the Savior can do anything, and that with his help we can bring to pass anything, even miracles.

I love it here. i love these relationship I've made, I love this kid in our district named Elder Young. He's so nerdy but in the best peter priesthood way possible. When he laughs it sounds like a little school boy's laugh. I love the MTC and walking through it on a warm summer night. I love that I get to study Russian every single day. I love that God loves ME, sister wilson! And that he is mindful of me and that I get to go to such a personal and significant place in the world. I love that somehow my bladder has shrunk to the size of a dime and my companion has to come to the bathrooom with me every half hour. I am just so happy :) Everything is good.

With love,

Sister Wilson

Week One From Brooklyn - at the Provo MTC - May 28, 2014

May 28, 2014

All is well,

(also I will not be capitalizing in my letters, it just takes longer and I don't have time)

I will start with my last day in Pleasant Grove. It was such a lovely and sacred time last few hours with my family. Driving past that G mountain I felt my heart swell and I appreciated the beautiful mountain more than I ever had in my life.

When I got to the MTC guess who I saw within the first 5 minutes? Sister Twede! She is an angel. Her Russian is amaaazing, and her accent is just lovely. (Note from Brooklyn's Dad- Sister Twede is a sister Brooklyn met on facebook then in person a couple of weeks before she went into the MTC, even went to her farewell. )

The first night in the MTC... I was slightly disapointed to hear that no body goes to bed at 10:30. I actually hated that, because I wanted to hear that everyone is just 100% obedient. I went to bed at 11:30 my first night just thinking it was normal to do so... no, no no no! Haha good thing there is such thing as repentance :) There is a boy in my district who says he promised the Lord 110% and I'd like the promise him the same thing.

Let me tell you a little bit about my district, my companion, and my teachers. 

My companion is Sis Palmer, a little bit about her... She is a genius. She knows the gosepl SOOO well. (that's not much info I know, sorry) I knew half of my district before the mission, and we all get along very well. The second day at the MTC I decided to dump my food all over myself went I went to sit down at the table, so that was good. And the third day Sis Palmer somehow felt backward in her chair and just legs went right over her head, garments and all. 

My teachers.... So there is Sister Jackson, Tanner was actually her first Zone Leader, she served in Yekaterinburg, and I am slightly convinced that she hates me :):):) One of my other teachers is Sister Wrigley. She starts with personal interviews with each missionary so she pulled me out into the hallway and just asked me a few questions. I told her about my family, my reasons to serve, and then she asked if it was okay if I could share something that has happened in my life to make my testimony grow. Also, she taught Elder Graf and said he is one of best missionaries she's ever seen come through the MTC in her 2 and half years teaching there! Elder Graf has prepared so many friends for me, and doesn't even know it :) 

A little bit about my language here.... I was sooo so blessed to have taken 1 year of Russian before coming out here. I can speak freely with my teachers and with the 7 or 8 week missionaries. Actually the other day in class another teacher popped her head in while Sis Wrigly was teaching us and the other teacher was speaking in Russian to sister Wrigley, She said, "how's your class doing so far, how's their language?" And Sis Wrigley just kinda smiled and said, "well... uhmm...." I got a disapproving look and my face and called her out on that hahaha. They finished their conversation in the hallway. Me and one other boy in my class are having private lessons with another teacher because I am already to page 86 in the blue board book, and am not learning anything in class. Otherwise I am going to fall into complacency right from the beginning. They might even send us out after we've been here 3 weeks. All the teachers are going to get together tomorrow to talk and pray about us and see if we can get sent out early.

One thing that really humbled me was the other night when I was talking to another sister. She reminded me that although Elder Nally and I know a lot of Russian we should never try to be better than anyone else, because Christ will always be best, he's always number one. 

My favorite day at the MTC so far was Monday. I speak Russian very well when I look at the people around me.... I speak as fluently or more fluently than the 7 or 8 week missionaries...  but during Monday's lesson I could not speak a lick of Russian, since I've been here I've been able to speak as freely as I want, but on Monday it was like all the Russian I had ever learned was cleared from my mind. I couldn't say anything I wanted to, and the part that makes it all a little more difficult even is that I feel like everything relies on me, because my companion doesn't know how to speak yet. There is so little unity in our lessons. I walked out of that room feeling like we accomplished nothing. I just started crying. We went on a walk to calm me and I said a sincere prayer but I still felt so alone. I felt like... because the spirit was not in the lesson I was unworthy to have him with me. That was just such a dark thought to me. I just felt horrible and I didn't know how to make it leave. I'd always heard if you don't have the spirit you cannot teach, I didn't think I'd experience it first hand. It was so very humbling, here I am, Sister Wilson-- who CAN speak Russian and it was like God put a little fog over my brain so I couldn't even tap into my language. It was time to start preparing our lessons and I had no motivation, and I STILL could not start thinking in Russian again. it just made me feel worse. Then some of the other sisters came into our room and spoke to me, they were so uplifting and understanding. They started speaking to me in Russian and slowly but surely my language began to return..... Ohhhh it felt sooo good. I take the knowledge I have for granted sometimes. But I realized the mistake I had made was this: I can ONLY speak Russian if it comes from my heart. If I start reading off a page I lose my train of thought and can't speak anymore. God wants me to speak what's in my heart. (I also think he did it so i would know how frustrating it is not to be able to speak Russian). That was a turning point in my mission.

Last night we have a devotional with Russel M. Nelson and afterward had a district devotional, those times with your district are seriously bonding. As missionaries there will not be a day where someone is not praying for the missionaries. DON'T let those prayers be in vain. Right now we are on the front lines of the most elite army on earth, Lucifer's army has never been more powerful, but neither has God's. Right now we are to give up our lesser selves and submit... the only part you are giving up is your ego. God will replace that lesser self with the girl God was preparing me to become even before my mortal life.

A mission is NOT what I thought it would be. It ALL depends on you. You don't walk into the MTC and put a badge on and you are suddenly a different person. You have to choose how you are going to be, and you CANNOT do it without Christ.

I am grateful to be a missionary. 
Love you all,

Sister Wilson 

(For those of your serving missions and who will be learning a language:
START STUDYING PMG RIGHT NOW.
I can't stress that enough. You have ZERO time to study it in the MTC)