Bezi - Week 5 - "Thanks to the atonement!"

June 15, 2015

home sweet home

All is well :) 

I have been fighting homesickness a little bit in the last bit of time with summer coming around and knowing that all my friends are at home going to lake powell together and what not... but I will never be able to fully give Heavenly Father another summer in my entire life. It's only a small sacrifice when you look at eternity :) 

My companion is doing well :) Oh how I love and look up to Sister Sotnikova. She has NO fear. She also has incredible patience and humility, two attributes that I have been especially praying for lately. We are learning so much from each other every day and it's been a HUGE blessing to serve with her. 

Many of the time we call our investigators to meet and they don't answer the phone or they even busy us and it sometimes just seems that we are bothering them. So this week we prayed that Heavenly Father would help our investigators to call us themselves to meet. We prayed for this throughout the week, and you know what happened? Our investigators called us throughout the week :) not just one. Not just two. But many of them! This week we just begged and prayed for miracles and went out and worked and it seemed like we didn't see much success, but I know that our obedience and works in that moment allowed for Heavenly Father to pour out a bucket of blessing in one day :) I feel like God sometimes holds those blessings and sees if we will keep pushing forward, and when he sees that we will keep going... seeing miracles or not seeing miracles, he is so much more ready to bless us because he knows in that moment we are working simply because we love God. 

Guess what happened this week? L popped up out of no where. We have seen her 3 times this week, 2 times at different activities and once on a lesson. I pray for her still every day but I am terrified that she is going to disapear and break my heart again haha. She's a bit of a mystery... doesn't talk to us for 3 weeks and then pops out of no where and acts like everything is okay when we ask what happened. I think she's got some underground concerns that we need to dig up. Oh goodness... the roller coaster rides that us missionaries go through :) we were hoping that she'd come to church this Sunday... but it turns out that she promised one of the members that she'd go with him to some trampoline place. Ugh... sometimes I just want to shake some of these members by the shoulders. 

My companion and I have Borsch every single day :) it's so good.
Also she eats a brownie for every single meal

At the end of every single day, no matter how hard it is or what I did or did not accomplish... I can go to sleep with a smile on my face thanks to the Atonement of Christ. If there's anything I have learned on my mission, it is repentance and that we truly can FEEL cleansed thanks to the power of the Atonement. I am grateful to be walking dusty roads and feel what its like to be rejected and rejected hour after hour, because my gratitude for the Atonement grows, knowing that Christ has not only felt what I am feeling, but he has felt the pain and rejection that every missionary feels. I love my mission so much. I have no idea who I would be right now or what I would become without the rock solid foundation that my mission is helping me to build. I am honestly just pouring my heart out in prayer. Prayer has become so important in my life. It is like my lifeline. Anytime that I feel down trodden I can talk to somebody. I feel like maybe my faith has faltered in the last little bit and you know what? Everytime it is because I have taken my eyes off of Christ. Everytime I focus on Christ and remember all his promises I feel more peace. 

Love, Sister Wilson

Saratov Week 6 - "Cast your burdens on the Lord"

February 16, 2015

All is Well,

Sister Busman and I had a wonderful last week together :) She is really such a sweet sister. She is so mindful of others and I could honestly go on and on about that Swedish sister. I learned so many things from her and I felt honored to be her last companion. I was so nervous for transfer calls, I knew that I would be staying in Solnechney, but with my companion going home I would be getting a new companion, but mom, guess who I am with, SISTER COLEMAN. I almost jumped out of my seat when Sister Schwab called. I have to confess that in my last letter that I wrote to president I almost said, "Hey... if you want any ideas for transfers, I wouldn't mind serving with Sister Coleman." I am sooo excited. I have only heard the very best things about her, but she is probably the one sister that I have never actually met. And knowing that she was ending her mission soon I was feeling so bummed that I might never get to meet her. But guess what? Heavenly Father knows my heart so well. This cycle is going to be amaaaazing. Something funny is that sister Coleman's little brother was my "EFY crush" I have to admit that I'm a lot more eager to be friends with her now though hahaha. I can already tell that I'm about to serve with a lifelong friend :) Ahh... dreams come true.

Right now I am in an internet cafe with Sister Johnson and Sister McKell. For some reason I won't be with Sister Coleman until Thursday. Also Sister Martinez was made sister training leader, I totally saw that coming. She is such a star. I love that sister so much. Also I think that means that I will be doing splits with her, meaning that if she feels inspired... I can come back up to Balakovo for splits. Ohhhh this transfer is going to be so much fun. I so hope that I can go back to Balakovo and see my beloved birthplace.

 The mother of a new convert has been coming to church. Yesterday during sunday school she said, "people always talk about not being afraid to share the gospel with people and getting the courage to share it with people... but I feel the exact opposite. When I am here at church I feel that I want to share it with everyone!" Her name is F and she is AMAZING. She gathers her whole family around us when we come over. We set a baptismal date for her on the 28th of Februrary :) 

 

My testimony is strengthened with every week that I serve my mission, but one day this week I experienced something a little more profound, a little more sweet. I woke up and thought about the things ahead of me for the day... and I noticed something, or maybe it was that I noticed a LACK of something. I felt no hope for the day. My heart just felt so weighed down and I felt an ache or a thirst for something, a hole that needed to be filled. I feel that I am doing the things that should be drawing me closer to God, reading scriptures, praying, testifying, but I still feel far from him. Feeling more and more weighed down and hopeless as the morning went on I locked myself in the bathroom and got down on my knees and asked for help, for comfort, for more love in the work. Feeling frustrated I began to cry. I felt the need for something, or someone, and I just confessed that I really cannot do this alone, I asked that my burdens would be made light through Christ's atonement. As soon as I thought the words, I felt an immense relief. My tears immediately stopped. And I thought to myself, "Hey, I still want to cry. I need to let these feelings out!" But I couldn't. My body didn't need to cry any more, the sorrow was gone. It was as if my well of tears had been completely dried up. I felt a reassuring feeling from my Heavenly Father that my mission has been acceptable to him, and that he wants me to press forward... but with the knowledge that I don't need to do it on my own. 

I felt that he was saying to me, "Sister Wilson, you are doing wonderful, but if I could give you one point of advice... I would ask that you rely more on the redeeming and relieving power of the Savior. Why are you trying to do this on your own?" And he's right.

Why am I trying to do this on my own? It's sooo so much easier just doing all the good that we can do and then leaning on the Savior for all that we can't. My testimony of the redeeming power of the atonement was strengthened, also the fact that God does answer our prayers. And sometimes he answers them in months... and sometimes he answers them immediately. 

 

Have a wonderful week everyone :) Missions are miracles.

Love, Sister Brooklyn Wilson 

Samara - Week 22 - "Oh man, Christmas was wonderful!"

Four beautiful "Sisters in Zion" Russia

December 29, 2015

All is well!

Oh man, Christmas was wonderful :) It was so good to see that everyone is actually still in fact alive. I do have to say that talking to my brothers in Russian what pretty interesting... and Tanner I do have to admit that yes, your accent was pretty awful ;) Somehow you need to keep up with your Russian! You once had that perfected! Now watch, I'll get home from my mission and get swept up in life and forget it all too. You can never judge a person until you are in their exact sitation (AKA someone who is living the life that will lead to the life of a billionaire) I can't image how busy you are. 

Sister Wilson & Sister Martinez

After skyping with everyone, we sat down for a moment with the member that we were with, Sv... We were definitely meant to be at her house that day ... to be with her. She is 52 years old, and her one desire is to be married only so that she can talk to somebody about the gospel at any time that she wants to. She has had a HARD life, full of abuse and neglect, being thrown down out the door and down stairs by former husband. Being blamed for the death of someone. Having children leave the church... going on a "mini-mission" only a few days after she had a stroke... she's tried to take her own life a few times while she was young and people always came to her rescue. Once as she was about to walk out into the middle of the road in front of a car, a woman took her by the hand and jerked her off the road. I mean honestly the things this woman has been through has been truly awful. She just sat and told us that we need to focus on finding young people so we can help them know how to deal with these sorrows and pains earlier than later in life. By the end of her venting all of us were crying and my dear companion suggested that we get down on our knees and pray. Oh Sv, she just sobbed and sobbed and begged her Heavenly Father for help and comfort but thanked him for the Plan of Salvation. What would we do without that knowledge? The atonement will make everything okay. Everything that isn't okay in this life will be made fair in the next life. What a blessing to know that relief will one day come. Sv helped me to see that missionary work really IS the most important thing that we can do in our lives, helping people to know that they don't need to suffer. Because we have a Redeemer who has already suffered all. THAT is the message to the world, that truly peace and joy can in fact be found in this life. 

Sometimes I look at this mission life and I wish there was a veil. Can you imagine how homesick we would get for our heavenly home without the veil? Why can't we see God, or remember Him? First of all that wouldn't be faith, and second of all, It think that our hearts would break from homesickness! However, I do have to admit that when I was done skyping you, it gave me a lot of gratitude that I am here in Russia, I love you SO MUCH. But I am learning so so much here, and I am definitely not ready to be home yet :) I still have so much to learn. I gotta build my own firm foundation before I can come back. And wow has that foundation been built, it's just being forified now. 

We had zone conference this week as well on the 26th and it was just perfect. It was 10 hours of a spiritual FEAST. I have never felt so satisfied spiritually! I am all regenerated and ready to work my tail off this year. Also Sister Schwab made Christmas dinner and it was soooo goood. Mom, I was so stuffed. I promised myself I would't do it, but I haven't had a homemade meal in so long. I couldn't help myself :) I love the Schwabs so much. They will be a part of my life forever, I am certain of that. They are the perfect example of a happily married couple as well. I want a good humble husband like president Schwab. He's probably the most humble man I know. 

I am just choosing to be happy. I am choosing to see the little miracles and then RUN with it. When I see something small, for example on Christmas Eve I was actually feeling like someone was holding me back, my desire to work was small. But nonetheless I did have a desire. We approached 3 women and 2 of them took Books of Mormon, that little miracle sparked our hearts and we decided to run back home and give out 10 copies of the Book of Mormon that day, I have heard of missionaries doing that and just thinking, "That is IMPOSSIBLE! How can you do that?!" Well that's just it, we can't! God softens people's hearts and we gave out 13 Books of Mormon. It built my testimony that we display a desire and then act upon that desire (AKA faith) and then God gives us a little miracle, and the small miracles lead to BIG miracles! 

I can't wait for the new year. This will pretty much be my year to give to God. I will be back before Christmas, but looking back on this past year I am just blown away at how fast it went by... this year will likewise fly by. I am SO EXCITED and ANXIOUS to see what this year has to give :) And what I can't wait to give my all to Russia for the sake of my Heavenly Father and his only begotten son.

Merry Christmas to you all. 

Love you :)

Sister Brooklyn Wilson 

Sister Wilson mentioned that "the Atonement will make everything okay". What did she mean by that?  * Find out more about the Atonement HERE