Saratov Week 11 - "Staying in Solcheney"

March 30, 2015

All is well :) 

Sister Coleman and Sister Wilson

Sister Coleman is flying home on an airplane as I am writing this letter, that is just crazy! I can't imagine what that plane ride feels like. I can't imagine what it feels like to step foot in your home again.

During zone training this week President Schwab said that we would be shocked if we could only see the amount of support fighting with us from the other side of the veil. My kids are helping me, my ancestors are helping me. I have so much love and support. I have good parents, wonderful siblings, cousins... and support from other missionaries who are here with us. I really mean it when I say that a mission only gives back. I cannot even count the endless amount of friendships that I have made, with members, with missionaries, and even with random people on the streets. The memories alone make a mission worth it (although that's not a good reason to go on a mission) I mean really though... who thought I'd be living in Russia for 18 months? If you told me that when I was 15 years old I would have laughed. What we put into a mission is what we will get back, that's really what it is. 

We are really praying for miracles every single day. One of the biggest miracles was talking about tithing with one of our investigators who is progressing toward baptism. This investigator was found over a year ago and is so so hard to get a hold of but she just soaks up spiritual knowledge like the sun. We have finally discovered that the best way to go about doing anything with her is always setting up return appointments. She knows what day we are coming and what time and she can prepare herself spiritually for those lessons. She even told us that when she knows we are coming over she is just antsy all day with anticipation to see us. This week we focused on the commandments with her and were very pleasantly surprised with her reaction to tithing. I feel bad for how little faith we had going over there! Tithing is usually something scary for people, and we know that N really struggles with work and with trying to take care of her family. However she was so open to it and accepted it without any doubts. She even said that she thinks it will probably help her with her financial problems. That's faith :) 

Last night we had a lesson that was based on faith. However as I was teaching the lesson I realized that I was simply speaking empty words that were true... but that had little meaning or feeling to me while I was saying it. I realized last night that I actually understand faith very poorly. I have also realized that one of the reasons why I am having a difficult time understanding this principle is because I haven't been exercising it. Exercising faith is looking unto Christ in every thought, doubting not, and fearing not. I reread the talk on faith by elder Bednar "according to thy faith" which president Bennett gave to us last summer as well as studying faith in true to the faith. We really need to study faith more. I feel like at the beginning of my mission I really understood what exercising faith meant because I was such a weak little missionary and I really relied on the Savior. However, now that I can speak the language, now that I am not afraid to talk to anyone, now that I know the gospel principles (not that I necessarily understand them all)... I have started to rely on my own power. How foolish! I need to set more goals and push myself harder. As soon as we are all snug in our comfort zone we are really in trouble. Sometimes when we are uncomfortable and really straining ourselves is when we see real miracles because we begin to rely on the redeeming power of the Savior. I really want to set more goals this week and use my faith and see the fruit of my works with God's help. 

My new companion is Sister Wagstaff, I've only been with her for a day, but from what I can see she is just a little ball of sunshine! :) 

Have a wonderful week!

Sister Brooklyn Wilson 

Saratov Week 7 - "I am right where I am supposed to be!"

February 24, 2015 

All is well,

Where do I even start? 

At English group this week I was with Sister Palmer and Sister Chase because I was waiting for sister Coleman to come down to Saratov. At english group I was sitting next to a boy on the very end of the row, R, who knew very little English and asked me to translate much of the time. We were explaining the apostasy and ending up playing telephone to show how things get completely skewed up when truth doesn't come directly from the source of truth. Because I was second to last I had a thought to just change the entire sentence completely... but instead of making up a new sentence I just whispered a bunch of gibberish into R's ear something that didn't make sense in English or in Russian that sounded something like, "selkfjlke sdoi aspoie wex ielk" which he was totally cheating so he wrote it down on paper and then when it was time for him to say it he read it out loud and it made NO sense. I don't think I've laughed so hard in sooo long. Everyone in the room was laughing with us as he continued to say the sentence with his Russian accent which just made it twice as funny. He was a real good sport about it too :) Maybe this isn't even funny... but it was, you had to be there ;) 

At 12:00 that night we went to the train station and picked up my new companion. Oh man. I am with the lovely Sister Coleman :) She has one of the most outstanding personalities that I have ever beheld. She is just a very thoughtful person and so honest and open with me about things. I can't wait to see the miracles that will happen in Solnechney thanks to having such a strong companion here, and she is just ready to WORK. She really understands a few things quite well. And that number one... We are here to baptized people. We do not need to be meeting with people who are just willing to meet with us to talk about religion. Our purpose as missionaries is to do what? Help people to receive the restored gospel, which includes BAPTISM. We should not be meeting with ANYONE just because they are willing to meet. If we give up those people who are willing to meet with us then Heavenly Father will help us to find those who are ready and willing to act on the message. So, we have been clearing out our area a tad and been putting some people away and are going to get out and do some more finding, which will be AMAZING because contacting with Sister Coleman is the best thing ever.

This weekend we will be having a baptism :) F is getting baptized and she is so ready. She will probably be a relief society president someday, I will be honest. She is so giving. Wow if I could describe that woman I would say honest and charitable. And I can honestly say that Sister Coleman and I really haven't done anything to deserve this baptism. Heavenly Father is just very generous and gives because he loves us. 

My prayers are going to be a lot more personal with Heavenly Father... I think I am just realizing how personal my relationship with him is and how personal it is with each individual being here on this earth. Knowing that I talked face to face with God just as Moses did before this life helps me to trust him so much more, it helps me to trust that he also is preparing each one of his children to return to him by stacking up special experiences, and when the time comes each one of them will be ready to accept his plan. 

If anyone is thinking about going on a mission... I would recommend a yes :) It's the best decision I've ever made. I will never regret serving a mission. I would not rather be any where else in the world. 

Love, Sister Wilson 

PS I know that I am in the highest incident mission in the entire mission field, but I have never felt more safe in my life. Especially as sisters. I've rarely felt that I am in danger. 

Saratov Week 6 - "Cast your burdens on the Lord"

February 16, 2015

All is Well,

Sister Busman and I had a wonderful last week together :) She is really such a sweet sister. She is so mindful of others and I could honestly go on and on about that Swedish sister. I learned so many things from her and I felt honored to be her last companion. I was so nervous for transfer calls, I knew that I would be staying in Solnechney, but with my companion going home I would be getting a new companion, but mom, guess who I am with, SISTER COLEMAN. I almost jumped out of my seat when Sister Schwab called. I have to confess that in my last letter that I wrote to president I almost said, "Hey... if you want any ideas for transfers, I wouldn't mind serving with Sister Coleman." I am sooo excited. I have only heard the very best things about her, but she is probably the one sister that I have never actually met. And knowing that she was ending her mission soon I was feeling so bummed that I might never get to meet her. But guess what? Heavenly Father knows my heart so well. This cycle is going to be amaaaazing. Something funny is that sister Coleman's little brother was my "EFY crush" I have to admit that I'm a lot more eager to be friends with her now though hahaha. I can already tell that I'm about to serve with a lifelong friend :) Ahh... dreams come true.

Right now I am in an internet cafe with Sister Johnson and Sister McKell. For some reason I won't be with Sister Coleman until Thursday. Also Sister Martinez was made sister training leader, I totally saw that coming. She is such a star. I love that sister so much. Also I think that means that I will be doing splits with her, meaning that if she feels inspired... I can come back up to Balakovo for splits. Ohhhh this transfer is going to be so much fun. I so hope that I can go back to Balakovo and see my beloved birthplace.

 The mother of a new convert has been coming to church. Yesterday during sunday school she said, "people always talk about not being afraid to share the gospel with people and getting the courage to share it with people... but I feel the exact opposite. When I am here at church I feel that I want to share it with everyone!" Her name is F and she is AMAZING. She gathers her whole family around us when we come over. We set a baptismal date for her on the 28th of Februrary :) 

 

My testimony is strengthened with every week that I serve my mission, but one day this week I experienced something a little more profound, a little more sweet. I woke up and thought about the things ahead of me for the day... and I noticed something, or maybe it was that I noticed a LACK of something. I felt no hope for the day. My heart just felt so weighed down and I felt an ache or a thirst for something, a hole that needed to be filled. I feel that I am doing the things that should be drawing me closer to God, reading scriptures, praying, testifying, but I still feel far from him. Feeling more and more weighed down and hopeless as the morning went on I locked myself in the bathroom and got down on my knees and asked for help, for comfort, for more love in the work. Feeling frustrated I began to cry. I felt the need for something, or someone, and I just confessed that I really cannot do this alone, I asked that my burdens would be made light through Christ's atonement. As soon as I thought the words, I felt an immense relief. My tears immediately stopped. And I thought to myself, "Hey, I still want to cry. I need to let these feelings out!" But I couldn't. My body didn't need to cry any more, the sorrow was gone. It was as if my well of tears had been completely dried up. I felt a reassuring feeling from my Heavenly Father that my mission has been acceptable to him, and that he wants me to press forward... but with the knowledge that I don't need to do it on my own. 

I felt that he was saying to me, "Sister Wilson, you are doing wonderful, but if I could give you one point of advice... I would ask that you rely more on the redeeming and relieving power of the Savior. Why are you trying to do this on your own?" And he's right.

Why am I trying to do this on my own? It's sooo so much easier just doing all the good that we can do and then leaning on the Savior for all that we can't. My testimony of the redeeming power of the atonement was strengthened, also the fact that God does answer our prayers. And sometimes he answers them in months... and sometimes he answers them immediately. 

 

Have a wonderful week everyone :) Missions are miracles.

Love, Sister Brooklyn Wilson