Week Four from Brooklyn - at the Provo MTC - June 18, 2014

All is well,

 This week after our TRC lessons, Sister Palmer and I saw a man down the hall talking with our district. My face immediately lit up once I realized who is was. SASHA!!!! He is a Russian convert. I don't know if I've even told anyone about Sasha, but I met him when Sister Twede and I went up to the Russian branch in Salt Lake. He left a huge impression on me. So let me draw a visual image for you about him. Holy cow. That man... is thee most hardcore Russian man I've ever met. He is HUUUUGE, just tall and ripped and looks like he could break someone in half. Basically he looks like he'd play the perfect part in a movie for the leader of the Mafia.

He speaks amazing English with a thick, beautiful Russian accent. And when he talks you are always amazed with what profound things he says.  It is just amazing to me that HE is a convert. It just goes to show that God really does know his children, even the hardest looking, scariest looking Russian man is a child of God. It's just amazing to me.

As a missionary you talk to EVERYONE. Do not assume that someone does not want the gospel just because they look scary. Sasha is living evidence of that! After listening to Sasha speak to us
I just realized how much I love Russians, and I know 
God loves Russians. I'm so excited for Russia! 

During our lesson with Nastia this week (who is actually our teacher, sis jackson) Sister Palmer had a prompting in the middle of our lesson to stop and pray. We asked Nastia to say it, and while she prayed in her beautiful Russian she began to cry. It's amazing to know we are teaching with the spirit so strongly that even our teachers, as REAL people, are touched. I don't exactly get along with Sister Jackson but as I have taught her as an investigator I have felt my love grow for her more, it's really actually interesting... I don't get along with her as a teacher, but I get along with her as Nastia. There's something wrong there haha:)

Oh! Something cool... There's a teacher here named Brother Parsons. He is a champion, and he served in Yekaterinburg and said that he heard lots about my brother and went into his same areas and found people he taught in the area book.

Also an Elder in our district got a concussion this week... because someone was tickling him and he ended up throwing his head back into a wall while being tickled.

This week for the devotional Elder Ballard spoke to us. After the devotional we gathered together as a district for our own little district devotional. I was very distracted during Elder Ballard's talk and afterward in our meeting. I have realized that my will has not been aligned with God's will. That is not good as a missionary :) As I realized this it troubled my mind greatly. Everyone else in my district had shared their thoughts/testimonies except for me. I said a small prayer asking for God's help, but I felt that the spirit was absent. I looked at 2 lines from my notes and just decided to talk about that because I was not feeling inspired about anything in the least.

As I stood the speak the most marvelous thing happened... my mouth was filled. I was suddenly given thoughts and words and was able to bear one of the strongest and most honest testimonies that I ever have in my life. I spoke about how missionary work is SO important to Christ because not only are these people OUR brothers and sisters, but they are HIS too. He knows us better than we do, he has felt our pains, he remembers each of us from the pre-mortal life. But there is also another brother we have... who also remembers us from the pre-mortal life, and because he knows us so well he is able to use our weaknesses against us. And although I don't understand everything about the atonement... I know that it works. I have seen people's lives changed because of it. Returned missionaries are the #1 example in my opinion. Some of them go out into the field as punks, and they return as some of the most valiant men I've ever seen. They could not do that on their own. The atonement changed them, and I know it can change us. As I spoke I even got a little bit emotional, and that just doesn't happen to me when I'm bearing my testimony! It just felt so good, it felt so real and sincere coming from myself. I didn't say anything I didn't know or anything I didn't mean. It was all honest. It was all truth. Bearing that testimony gave me the witness that God is proud of me, that he wants me to stop worrying so much... and that he will not abandon me. Even when I don't feel worthy of his help.

As I laid in bed that night I just felt God's love for me, I felt peace, I am feeling the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. And the fact that I can recognize that is so humbling to me. I love missionary work, I feel like I am in heaven here in the MTC. 

Til next week.

-Sister Wilson

• It shall be given thee in the very moment what thou shalt speak or write:D&C 24:6; ( D&C 84:85; )

• The Holy Ghost will teach you all things and bring all things to your remembrance:John 14:26;
• The voice of the Lord came into my mind:Enos 1:10;
• Everything which inviteth and enticeth to do good is inspired of God:Moro. 7:13–16;
• I will tell you in your mind and in your heart:D&C 8:2;
• My Spirit shall enlighten your mind, which shall fill your soul with joy:D&C 11:13;
• 
  

Week Three from Brooklyn - at the Provo MTC - June 11, 2014

June 11, 2014

All is well,

The weeks are finally starting to blend together. It's not so crazy anymore trying to get into the fit of things, I think I finally got it down. This week flew by... I can't even believe it. But then again at night time I try to think of what I did that morning and it feels like 2 days ago. 

12 of our Russian missionaries left on Monday. That means there are only 18 total in the MTC, but next week we get 40+ new Russian missionaries, it's going to be psycho. There are only 6 people in my district which is tiny, usually its double that. Since there are so few missionaries here we all get to become such good friends, it's cool to think that I know whoever Elder Graf is training right now. I have my fingers crossed for a few I know he'd love. 

Okay... so maybe a little bit about my companion. She is very much like me, she likes things done her way. We really aren't all that interested in each other's lives but we really do love each other (that is so bad huh? we're working on it). She loves to sing whatever she says. She always says, "great" in a Scottish accent. She loves to eat desserts here :) She always eats all of her food even if she doesn't like what she's eating hahaha. Our styles are NOTHING alike. She likes to walk in the shade while I step into any ray of sunlight I can find... there are always roofs over our heads and I really miss the sun (I'm sure I won't feel that way when I get to Russia). She is also very technical, like for instance today I mentioned that Samara is about a 12 hour time difference and she didn't hesitate for a second to correct me that it is actually 11 hours hahahaha ah... If she could describe herself in 3 words it would be: graceful, charismatic, and poised. She's really humble :) I've never heard her fart or burp so I guess that's true. 

On Sunday we gave a district lesson about repentance. Our district reeeeally struggles with concentrating during our 3 hours of personal, companionship, and language study. So Sis Palmer and I focused on that because we need to repent of that. I can actually study really well with people talking around me, so it hasn't been too much of a problem for me, but of course I can use some improvement too. We read the class a few interesting facts saying that if they waste 5 minutes of personal study every time then they will waste a total of 35 hours of study time here in the MTC. Yikes.... we really drove it home that our study time is actually not even for ourselves. It's not for Sis Wilson to learn more about the gospel, it's not for Sis Palmer to learn more Russian. It's for the people in Russia. Everything we do should be for them, and if we waste that time then what are we even on a mission for? 

A little bit about the language.... I love Russian. I can't get enough of it. When our teach Sis Wrigley speaks to us in Russian all I can think is that she sounds like an angel. Russian is beeeeautiful. However, I have learned Russian MY way. I have not yet figured out how the Lord would have me learn Russian. We are supposed to start from scratch in everything we know (rock bottom if you would) it's unique to every person learning the way that the Lord would have your learn. So my struggle is that I need to know HOW God wants me to learn Russian. All I know is the way that Brooklyn knows how. Also I can understand my teachers like a champ (this has been my biggest blessing), but at TRC, where we teach Russian speakers from outside of the MTC, last week we taught 2 natives speakers and it was basically like playing charades for 20 minutes :):):)

The most influential part of my week was definitely listening to "the Character of Christ" by Elder Bednar. Everyone's heard of that talk... but holy cow, it really changes your life. I have never seen Elder Bednar speak with such passion, he actually reminded me a little bit of Elder Holland with how bold and direct his message was. His main emphasis was about how the natural man always turns inward and the character of Christ always turns outwardly. This turning outward turns testimony into conversion. Every person who is a member of the church has a testimony, but not all of us are converted. Conversion is when we have Christlike qualities that are both striking and consistent. Those two words really stuck out to me, "striking and consistent". Think about yourself for a moment. How consistent are you with patience and love and humility? How striking are those qualities in yourself? Christ was consistently patient, his love and sincerity were striking to people, even shocking! Every person you meet on the mission has the capability in their mind to remember you forever, whether they do or not depends on the impression you make with them. They will want to meet with us again; not because of what we say or do, but because of what they feel. 

I feel that I am finally beginning to see just how important this calling is. I think that sometimes we forget how urgent our message really is. However, we must realize that the salvation of every single human being depends upon it... and it can only be received by the means of the Holy Ghost. I am beginning to see how vitally important it is that I truly learn to understand that what I teach does not matter if the receiver doesn't feel anything. 

Yes, your mission is your own, but it is not about yourself. The greatest convert on your mission ought to be you, but that's not what will happen if that's what you're trying to do.

love you all, I'm glad I know my place right now :)

Sister Wilson

Week One From Brooklyn - at the Provo MTC - May 28, 2014

May 28, 2014

All is well,

(also I will not be capitalizing in my letters, it just takes longer and I don't have time)

I will start with my last day in Pleasant Grove. It was such a lovely and sacred time last few hours with my family. Driving past that G mountain I felt my heart swell and I appreciated the beautiful mountain more than I ever had in my life.

When I got to the MTC guess who I saw within the first 5 minutes? Sister Twede! She is an angel. Her Russian is amaaazing, and her accent is just lovely. (Note from Brooklyn's Dad- Sister Twede is a sister Brooklyn met on facebook then in person a couple of weeks before she went into the MTC, even went to her farewell. )

The first night in the MTC... I was slightly disapointed to hear that no body goes to bed at 10:30. I actually hated that, because I wanted to hear that everyone is just 100% obedient. I went to bed at 11:30 my first night just thinking it was normal to do so... no, no no no! Haha good thing there is such thing as repentance :) There is a boy in my district who says he promised the Lord 110% and I'd like the promise him the same thing.

Let me tell you a little bit about my district, my companion, and my teachers. 

My companion is Sis Palmer, a little bit about her... She is a genius. She knows the gosepl SOOO well. (that's not much info I know, sorry) I knew half of my district before the mission, and we all get along very well. The second day at the MTC I decided to dump my food all over myself went I went to sit down at the table, so that was good. And the third day Sis Palmer somehow felt backward in her chair and just legs went right over her head, garments and all. 

My teachers.... So there is Sister Jackson, Tanner was actually her first Zone Leader, she served in Yekaterinburg, and I am slightly convinced that she hates me :):):) One of my other teachers is Sister Wrigley. She starts with personal interviews with each missionary so she pulled me out into the hallway and just asked me a few questions. I told her about my family, my reasons to serve, and then she asked if it was okay if I could share something that has happened in my life to make my testimony grow. Also, she taught Elder Graf and said he is one of best missionaries she's ever seen come through the MTC in her 2 and half years teaching there! Elder Graf has prepared so many friends for me, and doesn't even know it :) 

A little bit about my language here.... I was sooo so blessed to have taken 1 year of Russian before coming out here. I can speak freely with my teachers and with the 7 or 8 week missionaries. Actually the other day in class another teacher popped her head in while Sis Wrigly was teaching us and the other teacher was speaking in Russian to sister Wrigley, She said, "how's your class doing so far, how's their language?" And Sis Wrigley just kinda smiled and said, "well... uhmm...." I got a disapproving look and my face and called her out on that hahaha. They finished their conversation in the hallway. Me and one other boy in my class are having private lessons with another teacher because I am already to page 86 in the blue board book, and am not learning anything in class. Otherwise I am going to fall into complacency right from the beginning. They might even send us out after we've been here 3 weeks. All the teachers are going to get together tomorrow to talk and pray about us and see if we can get sent out early.

One thing that really humbled me was the other night when I was talking to another sister. She reminded me that although Elder Nally and I know a lot of Russian we should never try to be better than anyone else, because Christ will always be best, he's always number one. 

My favorite day at the MTC so far was Monday. I speak Russian very well when I look at the people around me.... I speak as fluently or more fluently than the 7 or 8 week missionaries...  but during Monday's lesson I could not speak a lick of Russian, since I've been here I've been able to speak as freely as I want, but on Monday it was like all the Russian I had ever learned was cleared from my mind. I couldn't say anything I wanted to, and the part that makes it all a little more difficult even is that I feel like everything relies on me, because my companion doesn't know how to speak yet. There is so little unity in our lessons. I walked out of that room feeling like we accomplished nothing. I just started crying. We went on a walk to calm me and I said a sincere prayer but I still felt so alone. I felt like... because the spirit was not in the lesson I was unworthy to have him with me. That was just such a dark thought to me. I just felt horrible and I didn't know how to make it leave. I'd always heard if you don't have the spirit you cannot teach, I didn't think I'd experience it first hand. It was so very humbling, here I am, Sister Wilson-- who CAN speak Russian and it was like God put a little fog over my brain so I couldn't even tap into my language. It was time to start preparing our lessons and I had no motivation, and I STILL could not start thinking in Russian again. it just made me feel worse. Then some of the other sisters came into our room and spoke to me, they were so uplifting and understanding. They started speaking to me in Russian and slowly but surely my language began to return..... Ohhhh it felt sooo good. I take the knowledge I have for granted sometimes. But I realized the mistake I had made was this: I can ONLY speak Russian if it comes from my heart. If I start reading off a page I lose my train of thought and can't speak anymore. God wants me to speak what's in my heart. (I also think he did it so i would know how frustrating it is not to be able to speak Russian). That was a turning point in my mission.

Last night we have a devotional with Russel M. Nelson and afterward had a district devotional, those times with your district are seriously bonding. As missionaries there will not be a day where someone is not praying for the missionaries. DON'T let those prayers be in vain. Right now we are on the front lines of the most elite army on earth, Lucifer's army has never been more powerful, but neither has God's. Right now we are to give up our lesser selves and submit... the only part you are giving up is your ego. God will replace that lesser self with the girl God was preparing me to become even before my mortal life.

A mission is NOT what I thought it would be. It ALL depends on you. You don't walk into the MTC and put a badge on and you are suddenly a different person. You have to choose how you are going to be, and you CANNOT do it without Christ.

I am grateful to be a missionary. 
Love you all,

Sister Wilson 

(For those of your serving missions and who will be learning a language:
START STUDYING PMG RIGHT NOW.
I can't stress that enough. You have ZERO time to study it in the MTC)