Samara - Week Five - "Be True"

August 25, 2014

All is well

It is finally starting to cool down here, I am definitely grateful for that. It feels like October today honestly. I can't wait for fall in Russia! I hear that everything just turns golden :)

During district meeting this week our district leader, Elder Wall, gave some really great advice in regard to investigators and their overwhelming questions. But what I really loved about what he said was that it related to me, too. He said that there is a difference between questions and doubts.

 Questions have to do with our understanding, but doubts have to do with our faith. There will always be questions, and we can't always answer them... We just have to move on when we can't answer some questions. But doubts on the otherhand... need to be solved. Why? Well, if faith leads to action, then doubt leads to...? The opposite. Doubts keep us from acting. I have been working on casting out doubts and fears this week, because I know that nothing good ever came from worrying.

Know when I expect miracles the most? When all of our plans fall through. Because then I know that Heavenly Father has a different plan for us. And we should expect miracles from it. Whether it be to find a new investigator, or to learn an important lesson about talking to all of God's children. One miracle we saw this week was when all of our plans for the afternoon fell through, and we ended up coming home with 2 numbers from men. Why is that a miracle? It's a rule that we're not allowed to talk to men or approach them first. Which means that both of these people spoke to us first! One of them asked if we were passing out literature. We showed him the Book of Mormon and he said, "Another testament of Jesus Christ?! I have to have this!" We called this man later on during the week to see if we could meet with him and he said that he's already read halfway through the Book of Mormon... yeah we definitely are hoping to meet with him soon haha :)

On Friday this week we have another zone conference with President Bennett. I know that we are going to get a throwdown by him most likely. But that's okay :) I love a little chastisement, it brings so much motivation. We still have 100 baptisms that we need to get to this year, we've had about 50 or so, but the thought of 100... wow. My faith is not yet perfect, and we could definitely use some prayers out here in Russia to reach that goal. But we believe in a God of miracles, so I plan to see that happening here. The most comforting knowledge to me is knowing that the work is ACCELERATING, and when things accelerate they gradually speed up. So we CAN see 100 more baptisms by the end of the year. 

Yesterday I had a very spiritual experience. I would say that my most spiritual experiences happen when I am in my normal surroundings and nothing really wonderful happens but I feel something that doesn't match up with my surroundings or circumstances. I just finished telling an 18 year old girl how much I loved her tinkerbell green dress... Sometimes after the people I am sitting next to on the bus get up and leave, disinterested in my nametag and a message about their Savior, I feel a wave of approval wash over me. Not my own approval, but from my Heavenly Father. It's such a simple and soft feeling, but it pierces my heart. When we are rejected with people we can have peace, because I know that IT (the Gospel) is true. I am not running around telling lies. I know that this message is true, and if I am rejected, I should still be confident! Not because I am confident in myself, but because I am confident in this message and I know what a wonderful gift it is. And if you don't think of the gospel as a gift, I would invite you to think again :) Through the grace and mercy and LOVE of your Heavenly Father, the gospel has somehow been brought into your life. The gospel has been presented before you, and the message is true. Whether you like it or not, it's right, it's pure, it is true. The gospel will always be true, make sure that you are being true to your God who gave you this gift. 

Hugs and love,

Sister Brooklyn Wilson 

Samara - Week Four - "Desperation and Determination"

All is well,

Yesterday we were FINALLY able to get a less active that we've been working with to church with us. When we got off the bus, the church was about 25 yards or so away from us, and it took us 30 minutes to get her into the church. I could see on her face that she wanted to give up so many times, but she kept going. Such amazing faith :) Goodness I am so grateful for a young body.... I never want to get old. Ask yourself for a moment... if it took you 30 minutes to walk into the church alone, would you still go to church every Sunday? Such a hassle but so worth it. She went home with a big smile on her face :)

Yesterday we had a district fast and specifically asked for the circumstances that we have no control over to be changed (if it be His will) especially in regard to getting members to church. After our fast yesterday we met with an investigator who told us that she would never come to church... within the first 5 minutes of our lesson with her, without us even bringing it up, she told us that she was coming to church with us next week, and she said it with a huge smile! V. is her name. Yesterday during our closing prayer with her Sister Haroldsen said something to the effect of, "Please bless V. with a greater desire to read the Book of Mormon." And V. just interrupts her during the prayer and says, "I already told you I don't have time! I will do it in the winter!" I was trying so hard not to laugh... that's not the first time she's interrupted a prayer but it's still so funny everytime. 

Some interesting things from this week... One man I sat next to on the bus this week told me that there is only a Russian God, I just flat out told him no, that is completely not true. But I said it nicely of course :) another time I got on the bus and my companion was a little ways away from me... well a man on my left noticed that I had a book of mormon on my lap and asked me about it, then another man joined him and started asking me why I was here in Russia when they have their own religion. Then the next thing I know I have 5 Russians yelling at me on that bus and I had no idea what they were saying to me. I was pretty desperate for my companion in that moment but she was stuck somewhere else on the bus. Sometimes frustrating things happen :) 

I feel like I don't say enough about my companion. Her name is Sister Haroldsen and she has a heart of gold. She is so caring for other people and is an AMAZING listener (one of my weaknesses, I tune people out without even realizing it!). Her favorite part about companionship inventory is talking about each other strengths, and she writes a list of them every single week:) she is really good at seeing the good in everyone. Every night before we go to sleep she always tells me that she loves me and then tells me her favorite things about me that day. I will definitely be doing that if I ever train anyone!  

I got to work with Sister Erekson this week (a Sister Training Leader here) and I have never had a happier day on my mission. Our goals: give out 5 Books of Mormon (3 after lunch, 2 after dinner) we also had a goal to talk to everyone, find a young woman on the street, and have a lesson on the street. After lunch our goal was to give out 3 Books of Mormon, then 4:30 came around and we still had 2 books to give out. We prayed right there for God to help us reach our goal and also expressed our gratitude for the success we'd already seen in the day. 15 minutes later we were down to one book, we prayed again with gratitude, but asked our Heavenly Father to give us one more person to give a book to. We were practically running from person to person to reach our goal, and with only a few minutes to spare we found that person. I had awe written all over my face after that because I know for a fact that we could not have given out 2 books in 30 minutes without his help. We also fulfilled all of the other goals we made that night. 

I want to write a little bit about determination and desperation, and why it is important in our lives, because usually we think about desperation as a bad thing :). But on a mission you have to be desperate. You have to even SHOW these people that you are desperate. We are desperate for these people to come unto Christ and be clean and to know his plan of happiness. Why be desperate? When we are desperate we have focus. When we are desperate, distractions leave, pride flees and humility replaces it. Our prayers change, TO WHOM we are praying changes... when we decide to be a true disciple of Christ we don't care about anyone else but what God thinks of us, (which actually helps us to think of everyone). Be desperate :). 

Tell somebody that God loves them this week. He does. But some people just forget it :) You'll be shocked with the answer you get with some people, because some of them don't know it. And what an opportunity that is to share with others the knowledge you have of a loving father in heaven.

Love,

Sister Brooklyn Wilson 

Samara - Week One

July 28, 2014

All is well.....

This map shows where Sister Wilson is currently serving
as well as the locations where both her brothers
served their missions. (Yekaterinburg and Dnepropetrovsk)

How do I even start this email?

On the plane ride over to Russia you may as well have said that we were already in a different country. So many people staring at us, and when you smile and them they look at you like you just killed someone, I think it almost offends people to smile at them actually. Also when we arrived in Moscow I had no idea what happened to our day... because we flew through time zones, so it was like one huge 40 hour day. Let me just say that jet lag is a nightmare. I feel like I am constantly walking on clouds. It's finally starting the wear off but by the end of the day I am absolutely pooped!

Elder Graf thought my companion would either be Sister Jensen or Sister Manly. Well, it's neither. I am actually serving with Sister Haroldson. She is a genius and speaks Russian SO well. She also gets along with all our investigators really well. (we have 6 investigators right now). My companion sings 5x louder than I do even when it's just me and her in the apartment....  she can't make her voice any softer because she trained it that way when she was in Jr. high and now it's permanently like that. At least she's a good singer. We are white washing in Balakovo right now which means that neither my companion and I know anything about our area pretty much. Also another thing, there are 3 zones in the mission. The Samara, Toliatti, and the Saratov zones.  I am in the Saratov zone. 

My mission President is the man, he is so spiritual and knows his scriptures VERY well, and his wife is an angel... literally. Sister Palmer and I slept at the President's house the first night and the next morning they made us amazing pancakes. Also President pulled me aside and talked to me ... he is honestly just SO cool ! He says if I see Elder Graf to treat him like any other missionary and give him a nice firm handshake when I see him. 

Okay let me tell you a little bit about this place:) We stick out like a daisy in a field of roses. People just stare at us everywhere we go, and when we sit down by them on the bus they often get up and move to another seat hahahaha. My favorite thing to do after they do that is to follow them to their new seat. There are cats EVERYWHERE, who said anything about dogs??! It's cats and my allergies have been HEINOUS. Especially in this city I would say that the population consists of cats and babooshkee. Any every single babooshka member/investigator that we have gives us a hug and then a kiss on the cheek, it's quite endearing hahaha. Every bus driver is shirtless. Russian BO is heinous... but hey it's all good, I could fit right in with them. Also sometimes when people are talking I think I am going to throw up (when have you ever gagged when someone is talking to you?) but their breath smells like old milk a lot of the time. It's not a sour smell though... I can't even describe it but they all have the same breath. I am sincerely trying to love these people when they're talking to me but sometimes I wish I had just barely applied good smelling lotion before I talk to them so that I could just smell my hands when they're talking somehow. Everyone is missing teeth... and almost anyone you talk to has gold teeth. There are weird stuffed animals EVERY WHERE, people use them for yard decoration. And in the middle of every square of apartments there are these make shift playground things? Also they use tires as decoration, and just spray paint them and then bury half of it in the ground. THE TOILET PAPER IS CONFETTI. I spent like 5 minutes looking for the toilet paper in the bathroom and my compaion was like, look for a role of confetti streamer looking stuff... look up Russian toilet paper on the internet, it's hysterical, but actually it's more comfortable to use than paper towels in my opinion at least. I can't describe the way that gas smells here... but it's different than American gasoline. It smells super super sweet almost? It's still July but it feels like October here, like it's almost fall. 

Rules: All water is actually ordered and someone brings it to our door, we're not allowed to drink anything from sinks. We are not allowed to talk to men on the streets unless we feel prompted to.

Knocking in Russia I swear that every other door that opens it is just a man standing there in his underwear, like... why? It's not okay to smile at people but it's totally normal to open the door in your underwear:) (Also I have only been knocking once but I hate it, it's the least effective way of contacting, I already know) We knocked one door this week and the man came back and reopened his door like 5 different times just yelling at us and calling us fanatics? I don't really know what that means. 

After contacting for like 3 hours I get really exhausted and could probably easily walk into a pole if I'm not careful. We get home at 9:20-9:30 and I find myself being too tired to even move my limbs to scratch my mosquito bites. Even though we live right by the Volga for some reason I only have a few. And I've only applied spray once. And then I looked at another Elder the other day whose arms were literally covered in them. 

The members... like everyone says, are AMAZING. They come with us on lessons as much as they can. My companion says that they think it is their duty to protect us, which their companionship actually does bring us a lot of protection. The mission leader's name is Zhenya, and he is amazing. He's like 27. And since I can't understand Russian yet, he speaks to me in English in the thickest Russian accent. I thought that he didn't like me very much until he started speaking to me in English, you see that's the problem with everything... I can't tell what people's personalities are like yet. If I could hear how they'd be saying everything in Russian then MAYBE I could build relationships better. But honestly with this language I feel like everything is like... not real? I feel like everyone are robots. This language is absoultely crazy. In the MTC I could understand and speak like a champ, whooooowheee have I been humbled! Whoever says that they get to Russia and say that they can understand even 20% of what anyone says is a liar! hahahaha I can MAYBE understand like 7%? The accent plus their word order plus the vocab? I won't be able to speak Russian for a good 2 months is my guess. I have never prayed harder for the gift of tongues in my life!

A few interesting things that have happened on the buses.... well yesterday I tried to make a friend on the bus, and I did:) her name was Olga, and then there was another woman on my other side. A man got on the bus and started yelling at me... and doing this thing with his hands, most Americans do it as a habit but in Russia it is something really bad. Ask Tanner and Parker what it means:):):):):) But both of the woman on my sides started getting after him and telling him to leave me alone. Apparently he was drunk.

"I am praying for one miracle in particular, and that is to put my trust in God, and align my will with his. I hate the thought that someone might have joined the church and may have received the gospel, but did not because I didn't have enough courage to approach them. I know that with faith I can have miracles, if anything it is the opening of my mouth that I'm struggling with. If I know I can do miracles with his help then why is it so hard for me to act when he asks me to? This work is just overall terrifying for me right now. But like it says in Alma 32:26-27... even if I experiment and have a DESIRE to believe then God will help me. Like when the man brought his child to Christ for him to heal him, Christ said... "do you believe?" The man said, "yea Lord, I believe." But even Christ knew his faith wasn't perfect and the man humbly corrected himself and said, "Help thou my unbelief." even THAT, the submission this man had was enough for Christ to heal his son. So if he can heal the sick and even raise the dead that he can certainly help me to open my mouth.

Alma 32: 26 - Now, as I said concerning faith—

that it was not a perfect knowledge—even so it is with my words. 

Ye cannot know of their surety at first, unto perfection,

any more than faith is a perfect knowledge.

27 - But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties,

even to an experiment upon my words,

and exercise a particle of faith,

yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe,

let this desire work in you,

even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.

Okay so here's the thing. I cannot settle for less than perfect, and that is hard for me, because my conscience kicks me from behind when I do that. I am terrified of contacting! I will be honest . Every single person who walks by me on the street, every woman I see on the bus I want to talk to, I see all of these souls in front of my eyes... but I am so scared to talk to them because I have no idea on earth what they're saying back to me if my companion's not by my side. It is just hard to work up courage to transport contact (which we are always on buses SO much so I need to get over this ASAP).  I am trying to walk onto the bus with the thought that I am not the stranger walking into a room of people, but rather that I am walking into a room a room of strangers and it is my job to make them all feel important and to help them feel at ease. Ooooohhhh man, heaven help me open my mouth. I have the BIGGEST desire to talk to these people, I want to with all my heart.  I'll write next week and this problem will be gone, I'll be talking to everyone.

PS shorten this letter. It's way too long:) but I know you want the details. 

AHHHH I have no time! Sorry I didn't answer all the questions mom. But I love ya, and I'm safe. We always have members with us helping us. 

Somehow everyone needs to tell me how not to be terrified of talking to people, because my companion has been here over a year and is still so scared of contacting. But she is AWESOME too. Don't get me wrong:)

Love ya.

--Sister Wilson